Well, the emails are running about 4 to 1 saying I have no trace of a lisp. The 20% minority says that I have one, but it's cute (I guess mainly my fans read this blog, so they're inclined to be nice). The 80% majority is either as confused as I am, or says a lot of people may just have an incorrect definition of a lisp.

Without exception, though, everybody has noticed my odd pauses, and a few have commented on "bizarre," "odd," and "overly complex" word choices. All I can... say to that... is how piquantly observant of you.

I finally got everything running perfectly on my computer. It's all set up to record now. This computer was built by and for my friend Haggai, a dueling pianist with a background in electronics. He realized he wasn't going to have time to use it, and I wanted one with pretty much the exact specifications it had, so he sold it to me for cost.

Well, I called him up today to ask him if he could help me get it set up to record, and he tried to explain, but he was working double shifts two days in a row, and he was a wee bit tired. He told me he'd work with me on it on Monday, but he had confidence in me that I could figure it out by myself, 'cause I was one of the smartest guys he knew.

Okay, with that kinda incentive, I HAD to figure it out!

So I broke down and did the unmanly thing. I read the manual.

So now it's running perfectly, but it's 3:00 in the morning, so I can't exactly start singing at the top of my lungs. I live in an apartment now, with neighbors on five sides (think 3-dimensionally) who I doubt would appreciate my vocal efforts at this time of night.

They might not appreciate my vocal efforts during the day, either, but that's too damn bad.

The consensus here among the dueling pianists seems to be that I'm a terrible singer. They all think I'm a fantastic pianist, and are amazed at my repertoire, and I'm learning the jokes and skits rapidly. But I've had three pianists ask me if I knew how to properly breathe when singing, and one booking agent ask me about my "vocal problem."

I don't think I'm a terrible singer, personally. Actually, I think I'm a pretty good one. And I'm in a field where I don't really hear a lot of incredible voices. However, since I do need the respect of the other players (their input means a lot here, unlike some places), and I want to make a living singing, there's ALWAYS room for improvement. So I've found a vocal coach, and am starting lessons in a week. I'm looking forward to it, actually. My teacher in San Antonio helped me out immensely in a matter of a few months. A couple of years with a good teacher should really put me over the top.

Under the "ain't life a kick in the head" category, two of the four piano bars shut down in Vegas. One was semi-expected, but the other was not at all. So, for the month of december, I'm out of work. I might be able to get a gig or two in Reno, but that's about it. Rumor has it that there's a piano bar opening up in January, and there's definitely another one opening up in February. So I'm going to try to figure out a way to stick around and tough it out. It kinda sucks, in an amusing way. My plan was to get set up here in October (done) pay bills in November (done), buy a computer for recording in November (done) and save up in December so that if I ever found myself suddenly out of work like I did in August, it wouldn't be a terrible tragedy, and I'd have a couple of grand to live off of.

Heh. The best laid plans of mice and men...

Soapbox rant time.

From the tone of my blogs, I've had a few people ask me why I hate America so much. I understand why they think that; I have a tendency to commment more on the things that bother me than the things that don't. And there's certainly a lot going on that I disagree with.

I was raised to believe that the USA was the greatest country on earth, founded on principles of liberty, self-expression, self-dignity, and most of all, opportunity to realize your ambitions through dedication, work, and creativity. I was taught that work is a virtue as well as a necessity. That privilege and responsibility must go hand in hand. That freedom demands that you respect other's rights as well. And that there was no place on earth more suited to that lifestyle than here.

Nothing I've seen since then has changed that. Now, I'm somewhat biased; I've never been to another country. But I have studied them a lot. And there are many places on earth that I want to go to, and many countries that have fine traditions, laws, and cultures. I find the different cultures fascinating, and truly want to explore them more in depth. But from what I can tell, the USA is still the best.

Will it always be? I don't know. People worry about the rising threat from China, from the Middle East, from Islamic Radicalists, from Illegal Immigrants... I don't worry about what other countries are doing; I believe that there is no challenge the American People can't face. We've done it time, and time again.

What I worry about is the Roman model. After conquering pretty much everything they wanted, they collapsed by their own doing (over-simplification, but still fundamentally true), by their own neglect, by their own... for lack of a better work, laziness.

After proving to the world how Communism and Socialism are non-viable models, we're now rapidly heading towards becoming a socialist state. After showing to the world the necessity of a well-educated populace, we're now propping up a failed, and terminally ill educational system, and throwing more money at it every year, as if that will fix things... After showing the world what our technology and hard work can produce, we're now whining about a trade deficit (while we stock up on imported goods). After proving that individual liberty and responsibility are the greatest incentives for a productive society, we're now pursuing a "War on Drugs" that eliminates all your civil rights in exchange for... Um... I'm not sure what the pay-off is supposed to be. Maybe to protect us from ourselves... We're pursuing a "War on Terrorism" that, instead of looking at the basic causes and nature of the problem, is attacking it in a militaristic fashion. How's that war going, again? The PATRIOT Act is being made permanent, despite that fact that the government can't point to one single instance of it helping to foil a terrorist plot. It has helped them pursue other criminals, they proudly proclaim, even though it was promised that would NEVER be what it was used for when passed.

Still, there are good signs. One is the new chief of NASA. He is, in my opinion, the best thing that has happened to that institution since the Apollo programs. I'm biased; I'm mainly saying that because he agrees with everything I believe about space exploration! But having admitted my bias, let me expound on that.

I'm always talking about what Government SHOULDN'T be doing. So, you ask, what do I think it SHOULD do? Well, there are some basics; regulation of trade and commerce to ensure fairness and equality. The highest education possible for our under-21 populace, because the higher the education level, the more productive the society. The protection of our borders. I'm not officially a member of the Libertarian Party, because you have to sign a statement basically saying you're a pacifist to do so, and I'm not. There are times when military intervention is necessary; in recent history, WWII, Korea, Afghanistan, and there was even justification for Iraq, though not the WMD excuse, and I believe that operation was severely bungled by an incompetent Rumsfeld.

In a nutshell, I do believe (against the purist Libertarian principles) that the government should do whatever we deem necessary And here's where I return to my thoughts on NASA and space exploration.

Going to the moon is something we couldn't have done in the 60s without the government. As much as I love Heinlein's "Rocket Ship Galileo," we didn't have the materials and infrastructure ready then. And once the government built it, it then let it collapse, relegating us to an endless series of Low Earth Orbit treks, rather than true exploration and the essential colonization of the Moon (and eventually Mars). But now, NASA is working on rebuilding that structure, and including private enterprise wherever possible, so that man will have a permanent presence in Outer Space, fueled by economic incentives. Here's a link to a fascinating (well, fascinating to a space geek like me) article about this.

http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewsr.html?pid=18740

And there are other exciting things happening in that arena. There are companies already making progress on getting people and materials into space in a business and pleasure oriented capacity, rather than governmental. SpaceX is at the forefront of this, and will launching a new rocket next week

http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewpr.html?pid=18353

What a time to be alive! For all of my doom and gloom, we live healthier, longer, and more free lives than any other people at any time in history that I know of. We have more comforts, and more opportunities. And as always, we are the ones who decide; are we at the peak of our civilization, or will we keep rising? It's a precarious time, and the future is really up to us, as cliched as it sounds.

Only you can save the world, with your Ovaltine Magic Decoder Ring.

20-1-12-11 20-15 25-15-21 19-15-15-14, 11-9-4-19! 1-14-4 4-18-9-14-11 13-15-18-5 15-22-1-12-20-9-14-5.

Jess

Well, I still haven't got Cubase figured out, but I've discovered that a large part of the problem is that the sound system isn't working. Every diagnostic says it's working. The speakers work when I plug them into other machines. The mixer says it's getting signal, and sending it out. But all I get is silence.

Once I get it figured out, I'm sure it will be nice. But in the meantime, I'm wishing it was a Mac. You just plug in stuff, and it works.

But I'm still able to cruise the 'net much better than I was. I'm figuring things out, and am planning on how to upgrade my website.

It's been rather pleasant having several days off. I goofed off a little bit. Practiced a little bit. Read a little bit. Talked on the phone a little bit. Ran a few errands. Even played a video game (Masters of Orion 3, which is a serious let-down - nowhere near as fun and engaging as MoO2, which is still one of my all-time favs). And I never felt pressed for time. Still, I'm glad I'm working tomorrow night.

I've been listening to the Beatles a lot. When I was in college, all four of my favorite professors (Drs. Beatty and Parr, Mr. McDaniel and Mr. Holt) were Beatles fanatics (though McDaniel more than the others). I didn't understand it; my knowledge of them was mainly of things like "A Hard Day's Night" and "Eight Days a Week" - pop fluff. But the more I listen, the more I realize - those guys really WERE geniuses. The songwriting is just superb, and the performances brilliant. The only thing I don't always care for is the orchestration (the obnoxious brass and choir in "The Long and Winding Road," for instance). But that's not their fault, it's a record label thing.

And man, for his day, Ringo Starr was such a bad-ass drummer. The more I listen, the more I love his drumming. Instrumentally, I think he was the most advanced of the four.

Oh, and I've been introduced to the band "Muse." It's like Goth/Rock performed by classically trained musicians. It's NOT classical, it's definitely rock, performed almost unrelentingly in minor keys. But it's technically impressive, and still fun to head-bang to.

Okay, soap-box time. Stepping on, getting ready to rant.

I've realized that a large part of the debate over ID (Intelligent Design) is that your average person doesn't know what a theory IS in scientific terms, and therefore doesn't realize that by its very definition, ID CAN'T be a scientific theory. I was thinking that all the people arguing for it were simply idiots, but now I see that the vast majority are simply uninformed, and therefore ignorant.

What is sad is what that says about our educational system. Even people that are informed about other things seem to be lacking in this one... I was reading (Dilbert Creator) Scott Adams' blog, and he goes off on how both sides are lacking credibility, simply because he says he doesn't believe either one. But he doesn't bother to research it.

The press is trying to be impartial, and give "both sides" of the discussion equal say. But in science, there sometimes AREN'T two valid sides. Gravity is a theory, with about the same amount of evidence as evolution. What's the other side of THAT debate? Quantum physics is theoretical. Where's the other side? Einstein's infamous equation of E=MC2 is theoretical (though you'll always hear somebody who knows somebody who has disproven it). But these theories are what we base all our scientific knowledge on. In the scientific community, there is no debate over evolution as a possibility. The exact nature of it? Yes.

Intelligent Design is a fine belief. In fact, it's what I believe. BUT IT'S NOT SCIENCE. And if it's going to be given "equal time" in a classroom, just because some people believe it, you have to give equal time to every belief that exists, no matter how absurd they seem. Hopi creation stories? Greek Mythology? Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (yes, there is such a thing)? All have just as much scientific support as Intelligent Design (that is to say, none). I don't want belief without evidence brought into the science arena. People marvel that it took the Catholic Church centuries to admit it was wrong about Galileo's theories, but then they support equally fallacious arguments when it interferes with their own beliefs.

Oh well. We've been more conditioned to care about sensitivity, tolerance and equality more than we do about truth, fact, and logic.

This ironically seems to extend into our political arena, as well. Universal Health Care? Of course! A rich man's life shouldn't be worth more than mine - that wouldn't be fair! (Never mind the fairness of paying for other people's bad habits, which is what the majority of health care is). Did we invade Iraq under false pretenses? Of course not! We were wrong, but that doesn't mean we were wrong! (No, I don't understand that argument, but it's basically what the Republicans are saying). Or, if you're a Democrat, of course we invaded under false pretenses! I knew all along that it was a bad idea, but Bush lied to me and I believed him, so I thought it was a good idea at the time (No, this argument isn't much better).

To quote one of my favorite Authors, Steven Brust, "... I suddenly got an image of Harry Reid dressed as a French police captain, telling Bush, 'I am shocked, shocked to find there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.' Not that Bush deserves to be in a Bogart role, even in jest. And I doubt Cheney can play the piano."

Ah, what could possibly make me more cynical about people than politics? Oh, yeah, relationships.

You know, I wish people were incapable of any falsehood. Would it suck sometimes? Yes.

"Does this dress make me look fat?" "Yes, it does. But that 15 lbs you gained doesn't help."

"Do I sing well?" "Well, there was that one note that sounded good, but in general, my ass makes prettier sounds..."

"Do you love me?" "No, but I'm really horny right now, and you've got the right number of holes... I just hope you're not clingy later."

"Will you be mine?" "Well, for a while, because you've got money, and that means security. But eventually, I'm going to spend a few nights with a guy that has a larger penis, and knows what foreplay is. Don't worry, I'll never tell you"

Yeah, sometimes the truth would hurt. But in the long run, I think it would be healthier, and would make politics much more fun. Just think of the slogans!

"Vote for __________ - he doesn't give a shit about you, but he loves the power, and thinks banging interns is a great perk!"
"Vote for __________ - he's a socialist who doesn't believe in your civil liberties, but he has great hair!"
"Vote for __________ - 'cause... Why not?"

End of soap box rant. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

Jess

It's no secret that I had several speech impediments when I was growing up. I couldn't say my "R"s, which I figured out when I was about 9 or so... I had a real bad problem with stammering, and still have to work on it when I get excited or flustered. One that confuses me, though, is the letter "S." I had a real bad lisp when I was a kid, tried to fix it myself when I was about 9, failed, took speech therapy when I was 11, and hadn't thought about it since.

Until the last year, when people have started telling me I have a lisp. The first guy to say it was a total jerk, and drunk, so I didn't pay much attention to him. Then a real good friend of mine was laughing over guys thinking I was gay, and told me "Well, you're well dressed, fit, and have a lisp - of course they'll think it!" Which made me wonder, so I started taping myself, and couldn't find any trace of a lisp.

But every couple of months, somebody else will mention it. Last night at work, a hot girl was totally into me, and was telling me on and on how cute I was, and how she liked my smile, and my dimples, and my playing, and my singing, and how she thought my lisp was just so cute. I wasn't so excited to hear about how cute my lisp was.

Now, to the best of my knowledge, a lisp is the inability to say the letter "S" - which I am fairly certain I know how to do. And as I mentioned earlier, I have recorded myself talking a lot since the first time I was accused of having one. And though I've heard a lot of things about my speaking voice that I don't like, I hear absolutely no trace of a lisp. Whiny, yes. Higher pitched than I think it should be? Yes. Nasal at times, stuffy sounding at others? Yes. Shatner-like in my strange pauses and breaths? Yes. Lisp? Can't hear it.

On the other hand, it wouldn't keep happening if there was no trace of it - which leaves me confused. So, if I'm ever talking to you, and you hear me lisp, tell me right away.

In other thoughts about myself, I have figured out the definite cause of my longest recurring dream; that of losing my teeth. It's a dream I've had for over ten years now, and for the last couple, I've suspected the cause. Contrary to the pop psychology books, it's not about vanity, security, or ego (at least with me). It's whether or not I wear my retainer while I sleep. If I wear it, I have the dream. If not, then I don't.

On the other hand, for the last two weeks, every dream I've had has taken place (no matter the subject material) in a giant, gothic, rather evil looking cathedral. But that's not the weird thing - the true oddity of it is that the cathedral is built in/on the world's largest oak tree, like a tree house. But evil. And enormous. And stone.

I'd love to find out what the reason for that dream is.

In other news, I got my new computer, and now I'm just trying to figure out how the hell to use Cubase. It always seems so simple once I've gotten going, but at first, I spend so much time going "How the %$#@ do I start recording? Where's the display? What's step one?"

And yes, it's a PC, not a Mac. There are many reasons for that. I will still get a Mac someday. But that day is not today.

I'm still getting little stuff done in my apartment. I have more pictures up on the wall than I ever got around to doing in New Orleans. Which means I've done almost half of them...

I've given up on the thought of building bookshelves. There's no real place to do any major cutting, sanding, varnishing, etc. around here. I'm probably just going to buy cheap Wal-Mart shelves. Look as nice? No. Hold the books up that I've been wanting to unpack for a couple of years? Yes.

2 of the 5 dueling piano bars in Las Vegas just shut down. So it's gone from me working all the time to almost no work from now until Christmas. That's good in some ways; I really need the time to practice more, and I could use some song-writing time, as well. On the other hand, it means I'm pretty much broke for awhile. Good thing I paid a lot of bills whilst I was working a lot! And it looks like there'll be more work for me in the spring.

Well, I'm going to go back to trying to figure out Cubase. I know once I've got it going, I'll think of myself as an idiot for having trouble. But right now, I'm stumped.

Talk to you all soon,
Jess

Well, I got my new computer! Finally! I've been saying I needed a new one for about four years now, but never managed to do it. But now I have.

Will this make me blog more often? Of course! No, actually, probably not. It'll just take away one of my excuses.

So, Kansas has decided to redefine science so that it doesn't have to teach evolution as a solid theory. Gotta love that. Did Bill Clinton help with that approach? 'Cause I remember how brilliant his "that depends on what your definition of 'is' is..." line of defense. Amazing. Had us all convinced that he never did anything with "that young woman." And this just after the Dover school board lost 8 of its 9 members in a referendum, because they supported the whole "Intelligent Design" lunacy.

While on the subject of altered perceptions of reality, I recently saw a movie with three drag queens, but they weren't playing drag queens. It was rather bizarre. The movie was called "Girls will be Girls," and it was quite a production. A comedy up until the very end, and then it got really serious. And then funny in the epilogue.

I'm going to see another Cirque du Soleil show on Thursday. I'm excited. Before, I saw "Mystere." Incredible. Now I'm going to see "Ka."

And then Friday I'm flying out to Reno. Should be a fun weekend.

Well, I'll talk to you all later,
Jess

Well, well, well...

If I could translate the intention of writing in my blog to the actual doing of such, I'd be a very prolific writer.

As it is, I suck.

Well, in important news, my favorite author, Steven Brust, has written a novel set in the world of "Firefly" and "Serenity." Which is just frickin' awesome. And he finished a new Vlad Taltos book, and has submitted it to his editor.

Also, I'm still happy about "Knife of Dreams," Robert Jordan's newest.

Have discovered P.N. Elrod's Vampire files; a vampire detective series. Formulaic and predictable, but an enjoying diversion, nonetheless. And so far, it hasn't turned into porn, which is a first. If you haven't read my blogs, you may not know about my observation that vampire novels written by women all turn into porn (it usually takes a few books), whereas ones written by guys turn into horror (of the long disgusting description type).

Am getting more into the swing of Vegas. A lot to do here - and interestingly, I have a lot more free time. Great for practice.

It's not as easy to get dates here as it was in New Orleans. Nobody believes me when I tell them that, but it's true. And those who live here generally agree with me, though all the folks I talk to either give me downright disbelief, or start giving me advice that I've either tried, or would NEVER try...

My apartment is set up now. It's cool, having my own place, with my own stuff in it. I've got my own room, with my own bed, and the windows covered so that no light comes in, and I can sleep all day. It's great.

I keep meaning to give a long description of the road trip, but really, it's just too long to type. Call me, and I'll tell you all about it.

One thing that was ironic; I was having a discussion with my Dad about the encroaching reach of the federal government, and how I felt our civil liberties were being trampled. My dad is far more trusting of the government than I am, and in general, more conservative (not that he is much of either, but more so than I am). Anyway, during this discussion, we get pulled over by the state troopers right before we get to Hoover Dam. We're told that we were "Required to submit to a voluntary inspection of your cargo. It is mandatory that you volunteer to have your trailer checked." If we didn't meet their requirements, we'd be sent back 90 miles, and have to find an alternate route into NV.

The explanation given? "Heightened security over Hoover Dam. The terrorist warning level has risen." According to the officer, if our cargo was all in boxes, we couldn't pass (most of it was the car).

Not only did I find it disturbing in general, and ludicrous (if we wanted to blow up the bridge, we wouldn't do it in a truck wearing the distinctive license plate "WE TEXN" - nor have there been any islamic jihadists with the last name "Mills")... But if their only concern was the Dam, they could have a sign posted back at the detour location, stating what types of cargo were allowed. Nor was there any equipment there to detect bombs.

If I were paranoid, I'd say it only served two purposes;
1) to make us get more used to having our privacy violated, rather than deal with the inconvenience of saying "no."
2) to do something simply because they could.

I don't blame the officers. I'm sure every one of them felt he was helping win the War on Terror. But for the people issuing the orders; what side is winning again? Freedom, Democracy, and the American Way?

Oh well. I will contine to cast my useless vote every 4 years, and bitch online every chance I get.

In a way, I shouldn't complain. Life is GREAT here. And I have so much to be grateful for that I can't even begin to describe the depth of that emotion in me. Things are going well in every front or my life. It's just when I look at my country that I love so much, and at the world, it makes me sad. We're destroying our nation, and our environment, both as fast as we possibly can, just for the sake of convenience, and the unwillingness to take responsibility for our own actions, and accept the consequences of them. And if the bill doesn't come due in my life (which I think it will), it probably will in the lifetime of my nieces and nephews.

Well, I'll quit writing now, before I go off on my diatribe against Universal Health Care.

Talk to you later,

Jess

Well, I know you all have been waiting on an update about the move.

And I'll get to it. But I had a night off, and instead of doing anything productive, like writing about my move, I went to "OkCupid" and took some tests. Here are the results; may you find them as illuminating about my psyche as I did. Or at least, mildly amusing...

The "What are your Personality Defects" test

Braggart You are 85% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 85% Arrogant.

You are the Braggart! Like Muhammad Ali, you would surely tell everyone that you are "The Greatest" whilst bragging incessantly about your intelligence, your skills, and your abilities. You tend to be a thinker rather than a feeler, and combined with your extroversion and arrogance, this makes you someone who probably just LOVES to brag about his accomplishments. Despite this, however, you are a very gentle, tender person and truly care about others' feelings. You just happen to care more about yourself. Unlike Ali, of course, you are rather rational as opposed to emotional, and you are also much more gentle. But his arrogance and extroversion best reflect the most visible aspects of your personality. Your personality defect is the fact that you are extremely overconfident, extroverted, and perhaps rather lacking in emotions. YOU ARE THE GREATEST! Or so you keep telling yourself every night, in hopes that eventually everyone else on the planet will agree. Well, sorry, we probably won't. To put it less negatively: 1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive. 2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted. 3. You are more GENTLE than brutal. 4. You are more ARROGANT than humble. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Bitch-Slap. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Capitalist Pig. * * If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits. The other personality types: The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 74% on Rationality You scored higher than 60% on Extroversion You scored higher than 49% on Brutality You scored higher than 92% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The "T and A Preferences" test

Skinny and Sexy Raw score: 29% Big Breasts, 40% Big Ass, and 56% Cute!

Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to smaller breasts, smaller asses, and sexier composure than others who've taken the test. Note that you scored low on both breast and ass size. This means you appreciate thinner, harder bodies. You are most likely to appreciate a super-model. Relatively, you are less attracted to round, soft, sloppy women. My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your lower than average score suggests you appreciate a sluttier look. Kudos! Recommended Celebrities: Kate Moss and Kate Moss, but 'em post-coke-binge for a cheaper date.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 12% on tit-size You scored higher than 33% on ass-size You scored higher than 35% on cuteness

Link: The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness Test written by chicken_pot_pie on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The "Are you a Nerd, a Geek, or a Dork" Test

Modern, Cool Nerd 78 % Nerd, 56% Geek, 17% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd. Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)! Congratulations! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on nerdiness You scored higher than 79% on geekosity You scored higher than 16% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The "Commonly Confused Words" Test

English Genius You scored 92% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 86% Advanced, and 80% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 28% on Beginner You scored higher than 43% on Intermediate You scored higher than 16% on Advanced You scored higher than 53% on Expert

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The "What Buffy Character Are You" Test - I was hoping to be Spike...

Adam 72% amorality, 45% passion, 54% spirituality, 36% selflessness

Interesting. Do not be fooled by his rough exterior; Adam was much deeper than most have given him credit for. Like most, he sought answers to the harder questions of existence: who am I? what is my purpose? You might ask those same questions, yourself. Like Adam, you're calm, and dispassionately work to achieve your ends. Also, you may just have a nuclear core. Congratulations! If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following: Nerds, Geeks & Dorks Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE 4-VARIABLE BUFFY PERSONALITY TEST

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 78% on morality You scored higher than 13% on repose You scored higher than 28% on spirituality You scored higher than 19% on selflessness

Link: The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

The "What Nintendo Character Are You" Test

Link Let's see....you got 57%

You are the Hero of Time, Link. You are couragous, and strong. You often feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and in actuality it is. Now stop reading this and go kick Ganon's ass, rescue Zelda, and get that pesky Triforce of Power once and for all!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 18% on mushrooms

Link: The what Nintendo character are u Test written by cottonmouth on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Okay - I have tomorrow night off from work. I'll try to be productive then...

Jess