Well, it’s been awhile since I posted, and so I’m going to have to do this in chunks, I think...

Before I say anything else, GO WATCH “SERENITY” IN THE MOVIE THEATERS!!! It opened weakly, and if it doesn’t do well, there may not be a sequel to it. AND I NEED MORE! Anyway, more on that later. Here's the low-down on my recent life.

1) ARRIVAL IN VEGAS:

I got to Las Vegas, without a clue what it would be like, or what the market was, or how the piano entertainers were.

Total And Complete Culture Shock!

The Architecture: Every casino is like a self-contained city. The bottom levels have the places to gamble, of course, but also streets, and shops, and theatres, and entertainment like you couldn’t believe. The Venetian has canals with gondolas that you can ride. Paris has a scale model of the Eiffel Tower. And so on. They’re not by any means true recreations of the original (I doubt a real New York street scene is anything like the New York, New York Casino lobby), but they are fascinating, nonetheless. I found myself in awe of each one I’ve been to see. And before you think I’m exaggerating about the “self-contained city” claim, consider this: the “Wynn” casino and hotel has 15,000 employees. That’s twice the size of my hometown. And of course, in addition to the lobbies, there are also the fountains of the Bellagio, the mall in front of Caesar’s Palace, the jungle of Mandalay Bay, and so on...

The Market: They need everything, and lots of it. Entertainment capital of the WORLD, baby! I can’t imagine that the rest of the US combined spends more on entertainment than Las Vegas. If I make it here, I’ll be making more than I ever could have in New Orleans (which was way more than I ever could have in Texas, so...).

The Piano Entertainers: Damn good. I mean, REALLY, REALLY GOOD. Everything that I prided myself on doing well, everybody here does better. Everything that I was worried might not be good enough for Vegas, isn’t. I’m bottom of the barrel here, just hoping I can improve fast enough to stay in the barrel.

2) THE PROBLEMS:

I arrived with very limited monetary assets (what my family was giving me, basically), no transportation, no contacts, and virtually no possessions aside from a few changes of clothing.

Well, through the internet, I found a lady who was willing to take me into her home (talk about trust!), which is what I did for a few days. I then proceeded to go to every piano bar I could find, and talk to the players, who put me in touch with the booking agent (Steve Beyer, who seems to have complete and total control over the LV piano scene – damn, but I hope I don’t piss him off!). He auditioned me, and is giving me shifts, partly out of a desire to help a Hurricane Katrina victim, and partly to see if I can get up to the level of the other entertainers here. I started working that week.

3) THE ENTERTAINERS (that I’ve worked with so far):

The Twins: Kim and Tam Pinegar – gorgeous blondes that headline “Harrah’s” – go to the website, and their pic is what they show. It would be impossible to find two nicer, big-hearted girls. It’s also intimidating sharing a stage with them, when all the guys start yelling “bring back the twins” whenever you walk on stage!

Van Walraven: A master of this show. He worked for Pat O’Brien’s in the early 90s, so he had a soft spot to help me out – went out and bought a keyboard and let me borrow it to practice on! He has had his own dueling pianos club, and now works in Vegas with his wife (also a dueling pianist). Great piano skills, great repertoire, great singer, and a high energy crowd pleaser.

Scott Nicholson: A great pianist (probably better than I am), a great singer, and one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met. I was laughing so hard it was hard to play.

Al Robinson: Imagine Joe Pesci as a dueling pianos entertainer... With a sarcastic bent, he berates the audience into loving him and giving him lots of money.

Joe Martell: a master of 80s music, with a tenor voice that lets him sing “Journey” songs in the original keys. If he wasn’t so nice, I’d hate him for that!

Bonnie Mizell: A gorgeous 26-year-old with a killer body, and a voice to match. Oh, and she got her Master’s degree in Piano Performance. And did I mention that her comedic timing is brilliant? Now if only she was an asian with a yearning for Jess and a huge sex drive, I'd be in love...

Mark Andert: The funniest guy I’ve EVER worked with; he has more one-liners and bits than you can imagine. When he’s onstage, it’s hard just to keep up. He has the audience captivated from the second he steps onto the stage until the moment he leaves.

Jeff Martin: Incredible repertoire, great jokes, but most of all, just a KILLER piano player. Originally a Jazzer (a real one, not a pretender like me), he shines when he cuts loose on the keys. I get nervous every time he throws me a solo, ‘cause my chops aren’t in the same ballpark as his. Hell, they’re not in the same league!

Have you noticed any reviews of crappy pianists here? Neither have I, ‘cause I haven’t worked with anybody who’s less than brilliant.

4) THE PROGRESS:

Well, I’m now in a place that has full internet access, which has allowed me to get back in touch with people, catch up with a lot of news and info, and generally be a happier man. I’ve played six shifts total (five in the last week), and made enough money to buy an old car (a 1994 Ford Explorer). That’s the transportation problem solved, which was a huge problem. I’ve got just enough left to buy a ticket to St. Louis on the 17th, where I’m going to meet up with my dad. I found out a couple of days ago that all my stuff is okay, including my car. So we’re going to drive from St. Louis to New Orleans, pack up, drive from New Orleans to Las Vegas, unload (into a mini-storage), and he’ll head back to St. Louis with my car, which he’s buying for my step-mom. Assuming I can get ahold of my Allstate agent, who hasn’t been returning my calls. I mean, what could she possibly be busy with?

I’m on the schedule for four shifts this week, and I’m hoping to keep busy. The more I play, the faster I’ll learn, methinks.

So, that’s enough typing for now. I plan to address some other stuff soon, like my cousin’s wedding (incredible) and the movie “Serenity” (go see it, damn it!).

Talk to you all soon,
Jess

Sometimes, I’m not the brightest of people.

On a whim, I called up Anna, and as always, I got her answering machine. I haven’t heard her voice in almost a year, I think. I’m not completely certain of that timeframe, but I believe it’s accurate. So I’m talking to her answering machine, and I say something like “I’m starting a new life in Vegas. I’m saying goodbye to a lot of things that I’ll miss. But I miss you the most – and I hope that we can be friends again. If you miss me at all, please email me, or call, or text me... If not, then I’ll try to leave you alone.”

Of course, being me, there was a lot more stammering and William Shatner like pauses, but that was the gist of it. And of course, she didn’t email me, or call, or text. Which means I have to try to leave her alone.

I rarely ever give up on anybody. Though passions may fade, or friendships grow distant, I still care very much about all my friends and lovers from the past. But that’s not normal, I think. It’s perhaps not healthy, either, since I feel a responsibility to all those I care about to try to make their lives as wonderful as mine has become. And I’m coming to grips with the fact that I can’t change anybody’s life. And I’m learning that for some people, a memory is all they want me to be.

Knowing it doesn’t make me any less sad about it, though. And I still wish I had the power to make people happier, to make their lives more meaningful, and to lift the obstacles out of their paths. And I mourn for those friends who have put me behind them. I am not grieved so much for their sakes, but for my own. My life was ever the richer when Anna was a part of it, and Andrea, and Heather, and Sarah, and Melody, and all the others that have disappeared along the way. But I am trying still to learn how to give up on them.

My life is in an interesting period of transition. I’m starting to let go of the thought of becoming famous – it seems ever less likely each year that goes by. I still have every intention of trying, but I spend less of my emotional energy in that direction. Ironically, this is happening while I am expanding my abilities musically, and my career is becoming increasingly more prosperous.

I am in Vegas, and the dueling pianists here are phenomenally good. And I’m good enough to be one of them (barely). I still have a lot of work I need to do on my show, but I’m not completely and totally out-classed (just mostly). Which is reassuring. The pay here is the best I’ve encountered, and the environment wonderful. All of the sudden, though, I’m a little tiny minnow in a huge, huge freakin’ pond.

So I have every intention of growing as fast as I can.

Last year around this time, I got an emotional charge out of walking up and down Bourbon St. in New Orleans, and realizing there weren’t a whole lot of musicians that I felt were significantly better than I was. I felt like maybe I was ready for the Big Time. Well, Las Vegas is certainly the Big Time, but walking up and down the strip, I haven’t heard a whole lot of musicians that weren’t better than me. The talent pool here is just that good. But if I can make it here, then...

The other option is playing on a cruise line. I’ve gotten an offer that is hard to turn down. So I may not. But either way, it’s looking like leaving New Orleans is going to be good for my career.

Still, I miss George and Amy a lot (fellow Pat O’s players). I miss Katie immensely, and I somehow feel in my gut that our lives are unlikely to be so close again. And there’s no denying that I had something magical in New Orleans... Living on Bourbon St., playing at the world’s most famous dueling pianos bar... It was special, and worthy of many fond remembrances.

I told Anna a little over a year ago that I was going to get in shape, and I did. I told her that I was going to take dancing lessons, and become a good dancer, and I did. I told her I was going to get my finances in better shape, and I did. I told her I was going to fix up a little apartment in the French Quarter with a courtyard, and I did. But I didn’t do these things only to impress her; they were the next step in becoming the man I want to be.

And now it’s time to set new goals, and I think I know what the next steps are. I’m going to become debt-free, and start by paying off my long delayed college loans. I’m going to continue my efforts to eat healthier, and exercise well. I’m going to learn to speak Spanish, because I think it would be highly useful. I’m going to get back into the martial arts, and possibly take up sword fighting. I’m going to continue my dancing lessons. I’m not bad, but I want to be able to take a girl Salsa dancing, and just impress the hell out of her.

These seem kind of like “New Year’s Resolutions,” which I’ve never been in the habit of making. But this is truly a new year for me. Not just an arbitrary date on a calendar, but a genuinely new beginning in my life.

The older I get, the more I cherish life, and fun, and friendship, and love. No, I don’t anticipate falling in love again. But if I do, it will have to be an incredible, incredible girl to top the ones I’ve fallen for before. So I’m going to try to become the type of man that is worthy of such a girl. If she never appears, then I’m still a better man for it.

Life seems so short, and so fragile. I want to spend every second of it growing, and becoming a better person, and enjoying each breath. That seems the only decent way to repay God for the wonderful gift of life itself. I don’t ever want to have wasted it.

You only get one shot at life, and I’m going to give it everything I have.

Talk to you later,
Jess

Hey everybody! Can't write long - I'm in the airport at a layover in Denver, flying to St. Louis to see my cousin Ben get married (traitor to the Bachelor Cause!).

I can't access my blog or jessmills.com accounts at the place where I'm staying. The lady I'm staying with has internet, but something about her settings makes it to where I can only access yahoo, and nothing else.

Vegas is going exceedingly well. The pianists here are FREAKIN' INCREDIBLE. They're just awesome, and everything I did in New Orleans that made me cool - they all do, and do better.

But I managed to find plenty of work, and it looks like this is definitely going to be my new home.

I was figuring it out, and unless I was either the winner or runner-up of American Idol, I'm doing better than if I'd made it onto the show. As I've continually noticed, my life never goes where I plan it, but it always goes better than I could have dreamed.

By the way, if you've never been here, Las Vegas ROCKS.

Well, I'll talk to you all soon,
Jess

Well, here it is, Monday morning.

Colorado is as beautiful as they claim. The air is so fresh that I keep going outside just to smell it. The sky is beautiful, and you can see the stars at night.

The roads suck. Well, not exactly suck; they're well constructed. They're just insane, have virtually no signs, and it's hard to get to one place from another. And the maps are all really poor. So I've started adding a half-hour to my transit time for being lost. Which gives me more of a chance to see lovely Denver, and it is really lovely.

I went to see my brother and his family last night. It was great. Amy (his wife) has apparently been either exercising a lot, eating a very healthy diet, or both - she's looking great. David is (as usual) completely on top of his game - he's up for promotion to Major, is working on a PhD, and his cadets (from all accounts, not just his) love his classes. His kids are just fantastic. Energetic, enthusiastic, but well behaved. Joe (around three years old) is obsessed with "The Incredibles." At any moment, he'll look at you and proudly proclaim "I Dash!" to which you must of course confirm that yes, he is indeed Dash. His younger brother Matthew is very friendly, and thought I was the greatest thing since... Okay, he probably doesn't have any previous great things to compare me to, except milk, nipples, and a good diaper filling. But I think I'm up there.

We went out to eat, and were able to do so with the whole entourage. It was great.

It made me realize both how much I'd love to have a family, and how unlikely it is that I will.

I'm starting to get really excited about Vegas. I've never been there, so all I have is imagination. But I've got so many ideas about ways to have a great life there. One I'm thinking about is - if I play in a Casino/Hotel, could I negotiate a room as part of my contract? It would mean I'd have to go super-simplistic on the possessions, but I can handle that! All I really want is a keyboard, computer, bed, bookshelf, and a wet bar. That'd be high living for me. And at this point, everything I own fits in a suitcase.

Of course, that's just a thought.

My brother and me were having a semi-philosophical discussion about the nature of ownership. We agreed that people in general (and sometimes including us) just have too much stuff. You spend money buying it. You spend money maintaining it. You spend money upgrading it, or getting a better one, or more of whatever it is. And then you spend all your time working to make all this money, so you don't ever have time to enjoy it, or even use it as much as you thought you would.

So I'm going to try to take this opportunity to really simplify my life. If I get my stuff back, and it's okay, then GREAT. But if not, I'm not going to replace most of it. The things I'll use every day; those I'll get. The rest I'll learn to do without.

People kept expecting me to get excited about the American Idol auditions, but it just didn't excite me. It didn't seem like a real chance, just a fluke that happened to one out of about 5,000 people (just to get on the show, that is) that tries. I prefer to base my life and my hopes on things I can actually influence, where I'll be judged on talent and skill. And that's what I'm hoping to find in Vegas. I've proven that I can fill a room and rock the crowd in San Antonio, and Austin, and New Orleans. I've proven everybody wrong who said I wasn't cut out for this biz, to where now people say "You have such a natural gift for it" - which is about the highest compliment (if a completely mistaken one) that I can be paid.

Now, can I do it in the big-time? I'm about to find out, and I'm really excited.

Talk to you all soon,
Jess

Well, I'm officially NOT the next American Idol.

Everybody's trying to be consoling, but they don't realize I didn't have any hopes pinned on it.

I waited for hours in the sun, and finally got my thirty seconds of audition. I sang the hell out of my song, and was quite pleased. I didn't make it, obviously, but that's okay. I heard some UNBELIEVABLY good voices that didn't make it. And I heard some really crappy ones that did, and a lot of mediocre ones. It just reaffirmed my opinion that voice is the least important thing on AI.

I'm headed to Vegas on Wednesday - a really nice lady is letting me stay with her while I look for work. As I mentioned previously, Hurricane Katrina is bringing out some incredible generosity that simply boggles my mind...

Well, I must run. I'm visiting with my brother (Dave, AKA Jess).

Talk to you all soon,
Jesss

Hey there - waited in line today at the American Idol auditions. Woo-hoo! Okay, not so much woo. Or hoo, for that matter. More like a big yawn, as I had to get up at 4:30 to get there on time.

The rules said that under no circumstance would anybody be allowed to line up before 6:00 am. Well, we got there at about 5:45, and there were at least a thousand people already in line, if not more.

So much for following the rules.

But I got my nifty wristband, and my ticket for a seat in the auditorium. And I also got a firsthand look at just how many people are doing this thing. It's got to be incredible luck, in addition to everything else. I've never been surrounded by so many pretty people all at once - so even with my postulate concerning the "look" of it, I still have no idea what they'll do to narrow the competition.

But I'm sure I'll find out tomorrow.

I'm hoping to get past the first round. That's as far as my hopes go. But I'm not counting on it.

Talk to you all soon, with more details. Or to be more precise, with some details.

Jess

Well, I'm about finished with my time in Nacogdoches (affectionately known here as "Nac-o-nowhere").

It's been great hanging with my friend Herb (www.herbertmidgley.com), and he's been unbelievably helpful, as well as encouraging and even inspirational (and a few other adjectives). Due to his help, I went ahead and recorded a rough version of a song I wrote a month or two ago, called "One Shot at Life."

It was inspired by a friend of mine who seemed to live life to its fullest, until she suddenly changed all of her dreams and ambitions, and settled down with a rich doctor. Not that there's anything wrong with being married to a rich doctor; I may even do that someday. It's just that she gave up all her plans and everything she'd told me she wanted out of life.

Of course, in the process of writing the song, that went from being the focus of it to being a side-story. I can't be held responsible for what happens when I try to write songs, can I?

Anyway, Herb recorded a video of me playing and singing it in the Recital Hall of SFA, and put the video on the web. You can find it at www.jessmills.com/Movies/oneshotatlife.mov, or www.jessmills.com/Movies/oneshotatlife2.mov - the first is faster, the second is better quality.

It's very much a ROUGH draft. The vocals are a first take (you know how that usually turns out). I'm still not completely happy with all the lyrics. And it's just currently piano, drums, bass, and fake strings. So a few months from now, I should have a polished version of it. But hey, it's something, right?

Other than that, I'm not doing too much.

I'm still just in awe of how willing everybody is to help me out. I'm trying really hard not to be a burden on anyone, but my sister and parents have sent massive amounts of help my way. My other sister and my brother have offered help. The Parrs have just put me up without complaint for two weeks. Almost everybody I know has offered to let me sleep on his or her couch until I get settled. One professor offered to buy me a new wardrobe. Strangers buy my drinks when I go to the bars (which close at FREAKIN' MIDNIGHT here!).

I'm pretty laid back and optomistic about life, but I tend to be very cynical and disbelieving when it comes to other people. But this is truly proving me wrong - it's bringing out all of the best traits of humanity. It's a wonderful, amazing thing to witness. I just wish I could be on the giving end of things, rather than the receiving.

Well, I'll let you all know what happens with American Idol (nothing, I'm sure), and Vegas (a few STDs, probably).

Take care, and I'll talk to you all soon,
Jess

Not a whole lot of new stuff to report. Still living on Dr. Parr's couch. People are still offering incredible amounts of generosity. So far I haven't had to accept that much help, but it may change. Still flying out to American Idol auditions in a week. Should be most amusing. And after that I'm flying to Vegas to try to get a job.

My cousin is getting married in a couple of weeks - I really, really, really want to go, but I'm not sure if I can. You know, Katrina just paid no attention to my schedule. Most inconvenient.

The weird thing is that people seem to be waiting for me to break down. Maybe I should, but it doesn't seem that bad to me. I'm alive, and so is everybody I love. I'm completely healthy, and have possibilities for employment. The rest just doesn't seem like a tragedy, just a minor annoyance.

Please keep in mind; I'm not speaking for everybody who went through it, just myself. Some people are facing incredible tragedy.

And life still seems wonderful. I'm practicing Beethoven for hours every day on Dr. Parr's Steinway, and falling in love with music all over again as a result. I'd forgotten how wonderful and rich a piano could sound. It's almost better than sex. Now if only I could combine the two somehow...

I saw a game show on one of the Spanish channels, and though I have no idea why, there was a guy dressed like an evil power ranger that would do a funky dance whenever a contestant got a right answer (when they got it wrong, their parents - locking in a glass jar - would have water poured higher and higher around them). I had no idea what the show was, or what it's point was. But I couldn't help but laugh.

My family and friends have been so incredibly supportive. One of my former professors tried to buy me a new wardrobe, 'cause he felt like he should help! I couldn't take him up on it, but it was so sweet.

Anna emailed me for the first time since my birthday. I wrote her back a snarky note, wondering why it took a natural disaster to hear from her. On the one hand, it was quite immature. On the other, it felt pretty good. So she may not ever write me again - at this point, it's kinda hard to tell the difference.

So anyway, all of you please keep emailing me, if you don't mind - it's great to know you care! I can't answer all of them (I got 42 today, and I only get to be on the internet for about 30 minutes every other day), but I still like to read them!

talk to you later,
Jess

Hey there to everybody -

My apologies to all that I've talked to in the last couple of days... I wasn't exactly depressed, I just wanted to be left alone while I figured everything out.

Having said that, it's amazing how many have called. I had no idea that many people cared about me. Being all emotional, it gave me the sniffles thinking about it. I know, it makes no sense that I wanted to be left alone, but I'm glad they all called. Oh well, it's a time of crisis; I'm allowed to be inconsistent.

For those who don't know, I lost everything. My car, my clothes, my job, my apartment... If there's anything salvagable, I won't even know for a few months, since they're not letting anyone in for (last I heard) 16 weeks.

Mainly, I'll miss my job. How I loved that job.

The rest, though... It's just stuff. And I'm realizing just how unimportant stuff is. I have my family, and they're so wonderful. And I have all my friends (that called even though I was rather surly). I have people that care about me, and people I care about. So the stuff is just stuff.

On the plus side, I'm living on Dr. Parr's couch at the moment, and he has a Steinway that I've been playing about eight hours a day, and I'm in love again. I forgot how wonderful a piano can sound, and there's nothing I can feel that the piano can't make better. I love music.

I'll talk to you all soon,

Jess

Hey there, everybody!

I'm alive, and well, and in Nacogdoches of all places. That's Nacogdoches, TX, if you have no idea what I'm talking about.

I'm hoping that I'm not homeless, but I won't know for certain for awhile... I'm hoping the same for Katie.

Katie and I decided to carpool, which is of course why I'm in Nac - I'm staying with Dr. Parr (her dad). I've been wandering around the SFA campus, feeling extremely old.

I may not be at a computer again for awhile - but thanks for all your emails... And I couldn't believe the calls - almost every single person in my cell phone phonebook called. Thanks. And this time, your concern was not only appreciated, but it was also matched by my own. This was a scary one, and I'm glad that we got enough warning to get the hell out of Dodge.

Take care, all, and as soon as I can, I'll be back online. I'm just hoping it will be from home, and not from a shelter!

Thanks again,
Jess

So, I'm on the schedule to work at 7:00 tonight, and 8:00 tomorrow night.

I was feeling unexpectedly tired, so I crawled into bed at 5:00 am.

Woke up, looked at the clock, and it said 7:24. I had no recollection of when I'd gone to bed, all I knew is that it was monday. I panic; I've never been late to work here. And I've never been 24 minutes late to work ANYWHERE. In showbiz, that's usually an automatic firing.

So, in full panic mode, I'm out the door with my bag, fully dressed at 7:27. That's when I realize; it's 7:27 am, not pm.

Can you say "dumbass"?

In other news, I now have my tickets, car reservation, and hotel reservation for my American Idol audition. It's a whole lotta money for nothing, but hey, it's always worth a shot. At this point, I'm still trying to find several different songs that are right for my voice. I don't think they'll let me audition with "The Itsy Bitsy Spider," though. Or if I do, I doubt I'll get very far at all.

Of course, if it wasn't my only year to try to audition, I'd probably do it anyway, just to see the judges faces...

Well, I'm going to try to go back to bed. Good morning, everybody!

Jess

Tonight I was missing my South Texas roots, so I made some enchiladas and spanish rice. Well, the rice I didn't really cook - I just opened up a box of "Goya Spanish Rice" and poured it in boiling water, with a little onion, pepper, and cilantro added. So I more heated it than made it. But that's beside the point.

After I was through eating, I went online to read the news. I'm a news junkie. And there was an article about Texas now being a "Majority Minority" state.

Well, first off - the U.S. of A. is going to be a "Majority Minority" country in a few years. I'm wondering - can I get minority protection then?

In some ways, the whole issue seems idiotic to me. Why does it matter? It should be about equality and fairness for everybody. What does it matter whether you're minority, or majority, or white, or black, or hispanic, or Asian-American, or Scandinavian-American, or Irish-American, or Jamaican-American, or Asian-Pacific-Islander American, or whatever? Legally speaking, I think we should all be considered American, and let the issue die there. Let culture and heritage stand on their own, with no legal prejudice in any direction.

On the other hand, I have always found Latina and Asian girls really hot.

So the hispanic population is booming. Why is this a surprise? It's a culture that celebrates large families. That's how we Irish got to be a majority in the US - we used to keep on popping out kid after kid!

It's not so common now, since we've been taught by society to limit the number of children so we can buy them more education, fancier clothes, lots and lots of electronic junk...

As I get older, it seems less and less likely I'll have a family (it would be helpful to at least get a girlfriend first, and I'm having no luck with that!), and if I do, it will probably be a small one. Unless of course, I've got dozens of illegimate kids running around out there. If so, good luck! Look me up someday, and wonder how you got such a deadbeat dad!

But growing up, I remember being the youngest of five. And yeah, it was tough. And yeah, our house was way too small (seven people in less space than my current apartment... Yikes!). And we wore crappy worn-out hand-me-downs (which were REALLY worn out by the time I got to wear them).

But still, I remember the love I got from my brothers and sisters. I remember thinking that my older brother David knew everything, and was the smartest person ever (okay, so I still think that, and he continues to prove me right). I remember my sister trying desperately to make me less of a nerd (it finally kinda worked, Amy! I mean Jes!). It's no secret I hated my childhood, and have very few good memories of it. But the ones I have are all of the love and support I got from my family. Well, that, and the first time I saw a naked woman. Which, now that I think about it, was on a video my sister had. Damn, I love my family!

Small families have a lot of advantages, But sometimes, I think the mainstream culture has forgotten the beauty of large families. And if it takes another culture to come in and remind us - so much the better!

Besides, though I do love Oriental food, and Italian food, is there anything better tasting than good mexican food?

Talk to you all later,
Jester

Anybody who knows me knows my Joss Whedon obsession. I have the complete collection of Angel, Buffy, and Firefly on DVD. I can't wait to see "Serenity," and I'm really excited (I never thought I'd say THIS) about the possibilities for "Wonder Woman."

There are certain hallmarks to his style that I love; the incredibly clever dialogue. The mix of genres, to where you're not sure if you're watching comedy, horror, sci-fi, drama, romance... The fact that sometimes your favorite characters get killed off when doing something dangerous, so you never feel completely secure about what's going to happen. For that matter, the complete disregard for where plots are SUPPOSED to go, in favor of where Joss thinks they SHOULD go. I even love the flaws in the characters. Buffy was an arrogant, lying girl, who wasn't always that bright. Willow had confidence and self-esteem issues that weren't solved in thirty minutes and a pep talk. Angel was way too depressed. And I think the doctor on "Firefly" was equally attracted to his sister and to Jayne (Adam Baldwin's character).

Okay, now that I think about it, the last one is just really ooky.

But anyway, I was watching an episode of "Firefly" a few minutes ago, and I realized what I loved the best about Joss Whedon. His characters come together to form a dysfunctional, messed-up family unit that is both utterly believable and wholly endearing.

And it makes me realize how much I miss my family.

I do have the coolest family of anyone I know. We've all gone in such disparate directions, but all pursued our dreams. And my siblings and I have one other thing in common; at one time or another, we've all been Jess.

Okay, you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about. It's not the crack, I tell you. I've got that under control, and I can quit any time I want.

First there was my oldest brother, Michael Jess. He got the name fair and square. And then I was named Jess Tandy, so I got it fair and square, too.

Then a few years ago, my brother got bored with being named "David." But while he wanted to change his name, he wanted to have something familiar. So he called me up and asked how I felt. I loved the concept. Having a brother with the same name as me - how awesome is that? Besides, he's the eccentric genius of the family, he's allowed such things.

Sadly, he ended up changing it back about a year ago. I mourned. I think his wife still calls him "Jess" though - that's what he was named when they met.

So then my sister Amy called me a few weeks (months?) ago, and asked how I felt. Again, loving the concept here. So she legally changed her name to Jes Mills. In full, it's either Jes Amy Elizabeth Mills, or Jes Elizabeth Amy Mills. I can't remember. (Elizabeth was my grandmother's name, and we both miss her immensely)

She's the one who just graduated college (Jes, not my dead grandmother). She just started working in the publishing industry, and just got a divorce, and in general, is just starting a completely different chapter in her life. And she wanted to start it with a new name. I think she picked a great one.

Now we've just got to talk my sister Tammy into thinking about her name...

I love my family, and when I become a millionaire, I'm building a giant mansion where we can all live close together. With our own wing each, so we don't have to live THAT close together.

Talk atcha later,
Jester

I have a T-Shirt that says "Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups."

In a way, I find stupidity amusing - it's one of the reasons I love my job. Drunk people get really stupid, and it's an endless source of fun for me to watch and be amazed by.

On the other hand, sober stupidity is less fun.

We live in a democracy (kinda - technically, it's a republic; a representative democracy, and even that's somewhat questionable these days). Which means if the masses are stupid, they put stupid people in power. Not that our choices have been all that great the last few years; Gore, Kerry, Bush... I wouldn't really vote for any of these guys for President of the Bingo Club, much less of the United States (is there a President of the Bingo Club? I need to look into that).

In fact, I didn't vote for any of them. I vote Libertarian, which means I will never, ever see anybody I vote for get into office. But at least I vote for what I believe, not "the lesser of two evils," which I think means you need to find another choice.

However, the majority of the United States put Bush into office. And every time I think I can like him less, I find myself to be mistaken. I've seen bumper stickers that say "He's not MY president," but that's bullshit. I'm American, and I'm proud to be so, even when we're doing something really, really stupid. So he's my president. And he's a moron.

Now he's pushing for "Intelligent Design" to be taught in the classrooms. Bad enough that "Abstinence Only" education has made strides; we all know that teenagers only want to have sex if they're well-educated about it. Keep 'em ignorant, and there won't be ANY premarital sex! And we'll win this War On Drugs any day now, too.

But "Intelligent Design" is worse - it's faith masquerading as science. It's completely lacking in objectivity and rational thought. It's taking a foregone conclusion, and altering the facts (and ignoring others) to achieve that conclusion. It's the opposite of science. It's the opposite of logical and critical thinking, and it's exactly what we SHOULDN'T be teaching in schools.

If your faith requires you to lie to yourself and your children, to ignore what truth is, you need to find another faith. The God I believe in said "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."

I don't need to believe that Noah put 5,000 species of mammal onto a boat to believe that God saves us. I don't need to believe that you have to pluck out your eye and cut off your hand if you need to stop sinning. There are stories in the Bible meant to prove a point. And if you take them and try to force reality around them, you're in for a world of confusion, and ultimately, deception. And I can't handle a religion that seeks truth through deceiving yourself. That's not the God I believe in.

For more info on the whole Bush and "Intelligent Design" topic, visit
http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/comments/bush_endorses_intelligent_design_creationism/

It's much like Astrology. Everybody down here believes in and swears by Astrology. I've already offended one friend by saying in my blog I don't believe in it. It's hard not to email Phil Plait's complete debunking of it to everybody I've met since moving here
( http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/misc/astrology.html )
It's hard not to challenge them to come up with one credible shred of evidence for it, or to give them a complete description of one of my siblings, down to every personality trait, and tell them to come up with his or her sign. It should be obvious, right?

But critical thinking is not taught anywhere. I don't know whether that's new, or it's always been this bad. I'm not old enough to know. I know it seems as bad with the people in their 50s as it does with the people in their 20s. Everybody seems to go for the easy answer. His/her/my flaws are all based on my Astrological Sign. I can't help it.

Bullshit. My flaws are mine. Not my sign's. Not my parents'. Not my upbringing's.

Your faults are yours. You have no excuses, and neither do I.

Unless you're drunk. In which case, hey, I understand. It's how I make my living, and how I get most of my fun.

But if you're sober; I challenge you to do what I've been struggling all my life to do (and often failing) - think about it. Whatever it is. Don't go with the easy answer. Really, really, really think about it.

I'm going to go think about lunch now.

Jester

So, I walk into Pat O'Brien's for my last set last night. They announced my name, and that I was coming back onto the stage - and I got a standing ovation.

It was both exhilarating and terrifying - it definitely made me feel like I'm better than I've ever been before. On the other hand, what if this is it? As good as it gets? I'm at the top, and I'll never go farther?

American Idol auditions are coming up, and I'm trying out this year. Like everybody else, I have the dream of making it onto the television. But I know I have no chance. My voice, although far better than it's ever been, is just mediocre. My stage presence, which is the hallmark of my show, is based on the piano. My experience working a crowd, at which I've become exceedingly good, is based on them being drunk. My repertoire of songs - not needed.

So I'm going to audition, and get turned down, and figure out where to go with my career from there.

But what a great training ground and career move the piano bar has been! I've learned more about music and showmanship in the last three years than I did in the 25 years of my life before that. Of course, that's not saying too much.

Katie is now in her own place, and though I miss her company, it's nice to be able to walk around my house naked when I want. Or to bring home dates and not say "No, Katie's not my girlfriend. No, I'm serious. Where are you going? Come back!"

But getting that apartment finished for her has dominated my life for the last few months. Hence the lack of Blog posting. Also a lack of songwriting, piano practicing, and new-songs-for-work learning. But life is settling back into its routines, and that's good.

Now if I can just get back to work on my CDs!

Jess

My communication skills are getting worse, apparently. I'm still having people ask me why their pictures aren't up in my "friends" page, but only one person has sent me her photo since the last time I ranted about this.

Aarrggghhh!!!! I can't put up photos I don't have! And I mainly associate with highly intelligent people, too!

Okay, that's enough exclamation points for one paragraph.

I've been hearing that RobThomas song "Lonely No More" a lot, and there's one section that I just couldn't believe the lyrics. It's all cheesy pop/rock music and words, but right after he says
"Now it's hard for me when my heart's still on the mend
Open up to me..."

And all the music cuts out, and clear as day, I'd swear he said "And I could do your girlfriends."

Which, hey, I can understand the sentiment, but I couldn't believe it was in the song. But no matter how many times I listened to it, I couldn't hear anything else.

But then Katie just had to ruin it for me. She informed me that it's "Like you do your girlfriends."

I liked my version better. And it's still what I hear.

Speaking of Katie, she's the best roommate ever. If any of you all are looking for a roommate, I suggest finding one like her. The only possible improvement would be if I could hypnotize her and convince her she's a nymphomaniac that really wants only Jess Mills.

Can't have everything, though, you know? Well, not until I take over the world.

My CDs have started selling again. I guess I'm getting a good enough name at Pat O's that people are getting interested. But it's scary, though. I don't think "Right Out of the Blue" is a good representation of who I am, and what I can do now. But that's just incentive to get back to hardcore working on my next CD.

And Jonathan sent me the refined product of the songs we did last summer. The man is a freakin' GENIUS. I am so giving him as much credit as I can on the CD.

One year of living in New Orleans, and I'm still not a vampire. Crap. But I do completely live the hours of one, though.

Well, it's almost dawn, so I'll crawl back into my coffin. Vote early, vote often!

Jess

Well, I've been in a weird mood today... I've been pondering all my failed relationships, yet though I'm somewhat nostalgic, I'm not depressed.

I don't hate any of my exes. I'm not mad at any of them. And in virtually every case (there are an exception or two), I know exactly why we're not together. And it's usually a good thing. For one thing, few of the girls I've been with would really able to handle my current lifestyle. And I'm capable of taking chances with my career that I simply couldn't, otherwise.

But still, I miss hearing Andrea sing. I miss getting into philosophical debates with Jolie, and losing. Damn, that girl is smart. I miss Sarah's good heart. I miss the other Sarah's wit, and mastery of everthing that I prided myself on... I miss most everything about Anna, during the time when I was important to her.

I think of them, and get warm fuzzies. I wish I could have them back, if just for a little while. But life is not about backwards motion. No matter how wonderful something is, you can never return to it. And if you can accept that, the future is a better place. There's always something in the horizon that is better than what is left in your wake. All those girls I just mentioned are married now. It would be arrogant to think I could possibly make them happier than their husbands do. And I've never been accused of arrogance. Or sarcasm.

I really want this to be the year I get my career going. And to do so, I can't afford to be worried about the toll it will take on a relationship. Luckily, there aren't exactly any girls lining up to try to change my mind. Although, if there are any girls reading this that might want to try - here's a hint; it's all about plentiful sex. Lots and lots of it. Possibly with some of your female friends involved.

Okay, it was worth a shot.

Some of my exes, I remain very close friends with. I can't imagine not being close to Lynnette, for instance. It would be weird to go too long without touching base with her. I wish that were the case in all of them. But as a good friend of mine told me tonight, "part of the human condition is that it is sometimes necessary to shut someone out to get over them. They leave you in their wake, or you leave them in yours... It's part of being human."

I want to be a superhero. I want to save the world. Unfortunately, my superpower is the ability to play "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Margaritaville." There's really not an arch-nemesis for that. Maybe the sound system at "Pat O'Brien's" - if so, I'm so getting my ass kicked on a regular basis. Besides, how do you draw a comic book around that plot?

But I'm so happy with my life that I want to fix all the problems in my friend's lives. And I can't do that. It's very hard to accept that I can't make everybody happy. I can't save the world for anybody but myself. I'm my own superman, and my own kryptonite. And we're all that way, when it comes down to it.

And to all you superman fanatics out there - I know what green kryptonite does. I know what red kryptonite does. But what does the gold kryptonite do? I always forget. And doesn't "Kryptonite" by "3 Doors Down" have great drumwork?

Well, to all the people left in my wake, and in whose wake I am drifting. I miss you guys. I hope our paths cross again, and if not, I hope your path has a lot of happiness, and very little kryptonite.

Jester

Well, I may have met my match.

Not in a love interest kind of way, just in case you're thinking that.

I was riding in the car with Katie, and though she is FAR more aggressive a driver than me, she's also at least as aware of everything and everyone on the road as I am... Usually I'm biting my tongue trying not to point out all the things I see. She's reacting to them faster than I could say anything, even if I wanted to. So then, we get to our destination, and she parallel parks her car with all the ease and accuracy I use.

But to top it off, she was singing in the car, and she's a lot better singer than I am, both lead and harmony.

Crap. I am going to have to kill her.

Anyway, I'll kill her later, because she's also a much better cook than I am, and has been cooking incredible meals for me the last few days. On my birthday, she made "Blackened Shrimp Fajitas" for me. Then I went over to George's, where he had made some sort of Curry sauce over rice, and Amy had made me a birthday cake.

I got cards from Kristen, George, Amy, and Vicki (all co-workers). Everybody from my family called, except my sister Tammy, who probably doesn't have my phone number. But she mailed me a card with a very sweet message. I heard from a couple of college friends, as well.

And then I got to go to work, which I love. And I realized what a damn lucky guy I am. Best. Birthday. Ever.

My step-dad Robbie decided, in lieu of a regular present, to spend a week of his vacation doing construction work and renovations on my apartment. Talk about a present! I love my family. I love my job. I love my friends. In fact, I love my life, and I'm not even drunk.

The former "Love of My Life" did indeed forget my birthday. She either remembered the next day, or read my blog. So she emailed me saying I probably hated her for missing my birthday, which I found rather amusing. After all the shit she put me through, a missed birthday is nothing. I only mentioned it before because she'd told me last year it was easy to remember, and she'd never forget it. Of course, at this time last year, there were a lot of "never"s and "always" that didn't quite make it to now. Not that I'm bitter.

Christine did not forget, though... She called, wished me a Happy Birthday. Is having a rough time, but she just got her first modeling gig at her new place, so things are starting to look up. Now if her life would just settle down long enough for her to be able to spend a day or two in New Orleans...

My dance teacher has quit teaching. I'm rather bummed about that. It's the one downside to my life right now. There are other teachers there, but none of them are as analytically minded, and capable of explaining the mechanics of everything as my last teacher. I just hope Katie gets really good really quickly, so I can take from her. But I'll still miss Ashley like hell.

I got a new refrigerator. The one I had could hold about two days worth of food, at best. And I couldn't keep all my liquor as cold as I like. The new one is HUGE. I spent two hundred dollars on food at Wal-Mart after I got it, and I didn't even fill it up. Some of that may be because I ate a lot of it as I was putting it up, but still... It's AWESOME. And very cold.

Well, on that note, I'm going to go make some more food. I'm hungry. Just want to say it again:

Best.
Birthday.
Ever.

Jester

So, here it is.

28.

27 is gone, never to return. I'm not just in my late 20s - I'm in my very late 20s.

On the one hand, I'm starting to accept that I'm no longer a teenager. I feel more confident about myself than I ever did in my teens, and I feel more in control of myself and my environment.

But late, late 20s? When the hell did that happen?

I wonder - is there a point where I'll actually feel like an adult? 'Cause I really don't, right now.

27 was by far and away the best year of my life, and not just because it's 3 to the 3rd power... I've been living in New Orleans for one year now. When I moved here, I had no idea what a change to my life it would be.

I'm accepted here in a way that I never was, and never could be in Texas. It's very, very rare that people ask me if I'm gay. And if they do, they seem to accept that I'm not. Now, it's much more common for them to assume I'm arrogant. And of the two, I much, much, much prefer to be assumed arrogant.

I'm considered attractive to women now. All my life, I've been the guy who watches all the other guys get dates. I've been the "friend" who listens as the girls bitch about their asshole boyfriends, and then tell me how they need a guy like me (right before they return to their asshole boyfriends). I never got the chance to be the asshole boyfriend. I think I could've done it well, but that's another matter. Now, I can get a date anytime I want one. Admittedly, it's with tourists, so there's no chance for a relationship.

But there's a certain appeal to that, as well.

During my 27th year, I got to be in love with a girl I thought was in love with me. I got shot down, of course. This is the life of Jess Mills, after all. But still, to have had it for a little while was a gift that I had given up on long before. Of course, I've gone from being "the most important man in her life" to an occasional "how are you," and I'll give you 20 to 1 odds she's forgotten my birthday. But still, as cynical as I sound about it, I'm okay with it. The fact that it didn't work out leaves me with my freedom, which I cherish more and more every day.

This is the year I became a good singer. I'm not a great singer. But people that I really respect and admire respect me as a vocalist now. That's a change. I'm mostly a good entertainer - I put on a great show. I think of myself as a great pianist (though George Rossi, my co-worker, is a better pianist than me). But a good singer? That's new. I always put up a front of being able to sing, and I always thought that I was adequate. But I wasn't, and I sucked, and deep down, I knew it. I'm still nothing special - but I'm good. And for now, I'm cool with that. If I'm no better when I hit thirty, I'm going to be pissed.

This is the year my sister graduated college. Talk about proud - nobody from my family was expected to go to college, except possibly my brother. Well, he did, and then I did, and then Amy did... And we all did well, in different ways. David was commencement speaker at his graduation, was a legend in his math department, went on to a full ride at the Air Force Institute of Technology, where he got his Master's degree on a thesis that I can't even spell. I did pretty well in college - I didn't flunk out, and I didn't burn out. Amy got a 4.0 - which is even MORE incredible when you consider she's raising four kids, and works full-time. And she graduated during my 27th year.

This is the year that I paid off my car, and most of my credit cards. I'm behind - I was supposed to be mostly out of debt by now. But I'm paying it off rapidly, and look forward to the day when I owe no money to anybody. That way I can rack up some more!

This is the year I became the life of the party. You come to see me at Pat O'Brien's, and I can almost guarantee that you're going to have a great time. I'm not up there in a supporting role anymore. I'm not hoping for a good crowd. I make it happen. And what a privileged position that is!

This is the year I learned to let go. When I'm frustrated, but can't change things, I can let it go now. When I'm mad, but can't express it in a constructive way, I can just let it go. When I want something (or occasionally someone), but I realize that I just can't have it, I can let it go. I let go of so many things to come here, and once I was here, I had to keep letting go of things. And I've learned that it's not bad to do that. That holding on to things can be unhealthy at times.

So now, whether I wanted to or not, I've got to let go of 27.

I'm not ready for my 30s. The 20s have been so good to me. But this was such an incredible year that I can't help but be hopeful about 28. If it's half as good as 27, I'm in for a helluva ride.

Happy Birthday to me!
Jester

P.S. No, I have no idea why I'm awake at 9:00 in the morning.

Well, I'm back from Texas.

Some of the things that I missed, man, I understand why I missed them. Texas skies at night are still the most beautiful. The Texas highways are wonders of modern engineering. I could talk to strangers on the street without them asking me for spare change. You still see guys in cowboy hats tipping their hats to girls as they walk by.

And the mexican food. The most divine culinary creation ever. Oh, do I miss that. I'm sure anybody who had to ride in the car with me wasn't as enthused, but...

They say you can never go home again. So in a way, I was expecting a huge change when I went back. Well, San Antonio hadn't changed. The grass was still brown. North Star Mall was still overcrowded. Pat O'Brien's San Antonio was still fun. The Blanco Cafe is still incredible.

Pleasanton? Well, the run-down Plestex 3 Theatre that I used to run is now the rather posh Plestex 4 Theatre, with great parking, new concession stands, a new Box Office, new bathrooms... It looks great. It doesn't feel quite like the place that consumed 9 years of my life. Still, I guess it's rather telling that I stopped by there before I did anything else. And other than that, Pleasanton is exactly the same as when I left.

My family is still much the same. My sister Amy still looks like a teenager. She's now a College Graduate (4.0, baby! You ROCK, Ames!), but she's the same bubbly girl that I've always looked up to. My brother David is now a father of two, but he was always the mature adult among us, anyway. My Dad is starting to look a little older, but he's also gotten really fit. So now he's got the suave older man thing going. Mom and Robbie look the same. June Hurley is still obsessed with Clay Aiken. Yeah, the family is changing, but they're still the same. My friends Caleb, Maggie, and Jacob haven't changed (though Maggie insists she's gotten fatter. Women).

So was it home? Yes, and no. I realized that it hadn't been completely home for a long time. I'd grown beyond Pleasanton years before, and I think everybody but me knew it. Not that it's hard to grow beyond Pleasanton, but still...

When I got back, I wondered, is New Orleans home now? Not Texas? And I had one of those moments where you realize something about yourself that is maybe obvious to everybody else, but not to you. I am never at home, and I am always at home, because for me, home is a state of mind, not a location. It's where you feel comfortable, and in place. And to a certain degree, I carry that wherever I am. On the other hand, I'll never have all my family with me, and all my friends with me, and it would take that to be completely at home. But wherever I am, whether it's in a hotel room, or my bedroom, or onstage, or walking down the street in a strange town, I'm at home, and I'm not. There is no Fortress of Solitude for me; what home I have, I carry with me.

And that's a very freeing thing. Now when I go visit someplace, it's not for the location (unless it's some location I've never been, like Ireland, or Brazil). It's just for the people. I don't have to go somewhere to remember my home. And when I'm there, I don't have to miss my home. If I go to St. Louis to see my Dad and Step-Mom, or Colorado Springs to see David, or Pleasanton to see Mom and Robbie - it's all home.

One thing I did love about the trip - my sister got to see me onstage for the first time since my Senior Recital in college. She got to see me play, sing, entertain, and just rock the crowd. And though my brother had seen me before, I'm much, much better now.

Well, as you can tell, I'm in a kinda serious mood, and I know all three of you who read this do so for the humor. So I'll leave you until I'm in a more entertaining mood. Talk to you soon, and keep writing!

Jester

I'm not a big fan of Playboy pictorials. As porn goes, it's incredibly lame. And as the for selection of women - it's usually fake blondes with fake tits staring blankly at the camera hoping someday they'll either have a thought or a sugardaddy to make sure they never need one. Their turn-offs are rudeness and bad breath, and they all love puppies. Who gives a shit? I sure don't. I've dated several girls who were prettier than 99% of those cookie-cutter clones. And I've never dated a girl as vacuous as most of them seem to be.

Having said that, a friend of mine just gave me the June 2004 Playboy, which is now my favorite edition of all time, for five reasons:

1) Charisma Carpenter naked (Cordelia, from "Buffy" and "Angel")
2) The Playmate of the Month was Asian (ever since falling for a Filipino girl last year, I'm totally entranced with asian girls. And Hiromi Oshima? Damn hot)
3) Charisma Carpenter naked
4) Playmate of the Year Carmella DeCesare - totally shaves. I'm all about the shave.
5) Did I mention Charisma Carpenter naked?

Of course, I tried to express how wonderful this edition was to Christine, and for some reason, she thought I was being a typical male pig. What gave her that impression?

In other news, I'm getting ready for my trip to Texas. Man, I'm so excited. Of course, I probably won't be getting any during the trip, and that sucks. But still, overall - it's going to be great. I get to see my family, and I've missed them a lot. Plus, some of them haven't seen the new short haired and clean-shaven Jess.

Well, I'll talk to you all soon (if you're not so disgusted by this rant that you never want to speak to me again)...

Jester

Well, it's been one helluva week.

I've gotten two job offers, and had two of my most lucrative nights at Pat O's ever. Which is good - expenses are running rather high right now.

My friend Mark came up for a last minute audition at Pat O's, and he did a great audition. He starts a two-week trial run Wednesday. Damn, but I hope he makes it.

Dance lessons are going real well again. Tango technique was kicking my ass, but now we've moved on to Rumba, which (at least at the level I'm at) is very simple. I've just got to get as good as I can before Katie gets here.

Speaking of which, she's coming in a week and a half... I'm looking forward to it, but there's a lot to do before she gets here. Most of which I'll probably do the night before she arrives. I'm the best at planned procrastination.

And then I'm off to see my sis graduate. Yay, Amy! You rock, girl.

I've been updating my website. Hadn't had a makeover in a year or so. So far I've done the front page and the Photos page. Nothing too drastic - I'm just trying to streamline everything, maybe make it a little more visually appealing.

Anyway, am in a big hurry (as always), so I just thought I'd drop a quick note. Will endeavor to be witty and amusing in the next day or two.

Jester

See, this is why I don't have a girlfriend - things get hectic, and I end up neglecting them for a couple of months.

Okay, a girlfriend might be more enticing than a blog, and that's not really the reason I don't have a girlfriend, but we won't go there.

It's been a rather hectic couple of months, which is cool. I'm now pretty well settled into my place on Bourbon St., and am fixing it up bit by bit. I've redone the phone wiring, replaced the door handles, replaced the bathroom fixtures, and am working on hinges and some minor electrical wiring. I'm still designing bookshelves; those could be simple, but I'd rather make them different and cool.

My sister is graduating college this semester. I have no idea how she did it - four kids, a husband, a full-time job, and somehow she just kicked ass. I take full credit for being her inspiration, though in fact, I had nothing to do with it. But I'm still taking full credit. And we won't mention my brother, who has gone much farther academically than me.

My co-worker Amy Trail just released her first CD. She's about the age I was when I did my first one. My first one was... Mediocre, at best. Hers is quite good. I'm quite jealous. I'm going to have to kill her. 'Cause that's the best way to get ahead, you know. Eliminate the competition.

Dance lessons are still going well - will let you all know when I'm Mr. Suave.

One former love interest pissed me off so much, I swore I was going to ignore her calls and emails. Unfortunately, she hasn't called or emailed since then. That kinda takes the satisfaction out of giving her the silent treatment. There's got to be a Country Song in there somewhere.

Have added pics of friends to my Photos page. Sent out an email to all my friends that I didn't have pictures of, with a long statement of how I'd like to have pictures of them, unless they didn't want to be included, in which case they should tell me. Most sent back replies saying "I'm doing fine, how are you?" Alas, communication is no longer my strong point. Wait, do I HAVE a strong point? Crap. I need to check Ebay and see if I can get one of those.

Well, I'll try to post more often. Good thing I've never said THAT before.

Jester

Well, Mardi Gras came, and saw, and drank... It was a fairly mild Mardi Gras for New Orleans, which meant it would've been considered utter chaos anywhere else.

When it was all over, Amy, Kristen and I all went drinking at a little hipster bar. 'Twas cool, and I drank massive amounts of all kinds of different alcohol. Then we went to Amy's house, where I proceeded to offer those same amounts of alcohol to the Porcelain God. After which, I slept on her (Amy, not the Porcelain God) spare bed for about six hours, got up, drove home, drank about two quarts of grapefruit juice, and slept another six hours. Then I went to work.

Ah, the glamorous life of a musician.

I ended up working ten days straight, which was pretty cool. I have tonight off, though, and that really sucks. I was supposed to have a date tonight, but it fell through (as always) which left me with no date, and nothing to do on Valentine's day. That makes 27 in a row with no Valentine. That's gotta be some kind of a record.

If I were to choose an archnemesis, it would be Leonardo Leonardo, not Valentine's Day. Of course, if you don't know who Leonardo Leonardo is, then you need to watch "Clerks; the Animated Series." If you don't know what Valentine's Day is, you're worse off than me.

On the plus side, I'm moving into my new apartment. It totally rocks. Life is good. After today.

Talk to you all soon,

Jester

P.S. Well played, Clerks. Well played...

Well, I made it through Lundi Gras - Mardi Gras is tomorrow (well, later today, to be precise).

I worked with Amy, who was a blast. It was cool - not only did we have a great time working together, but we went down to Frenchmen street afterwards, and had a great time.

In other thoughts... I've heard that hate is not the opposite of love, but rather apathy. I've realized how true that is. When I write to somebody I care about, and they get mad at me, it hurts much less than when I just get nothing but silence. That's the worst; feeling like they just don't care one way or the other what you think or feel.

Well, I'm about a month away from doing my first dance showcase with my teacher. Oh boy. White man dancing. Never a pretty thought.

I've gained twelved pounds since I started working out again. Another eighteen to go to reach my goal.

By the end of this week, I should start moving into my new place on Bourbon. Should be fun.

Well, I'm highly intoxicated right now, so I'll let you all go.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Jester

I wish I could budget like the Fed.

The new federal budget is being criticized as too "harsh" in its "cuts," and sometimes praised as "lean," and "fiscally responsible."

Point one - expenses will be (assuming it's passed as written, which is doubtful) approximately 124% of income. I'd love to spend that much over what I make, and be called fiscally responsible.

Point two - that doesn't count all the interest we're already paying on our current debt. Wouldn't it be nice if you had a huge debt, but you didn't have to figure it into your budget?

Point three - most of the "cuts" are actually increases. They're just smaller increases than previously expected. I'd love to make cuts like that.

Aarrgghh...

I was also reading a lot of viewpoints from the Arab world about the upcoming Palestinian/Israeli negotiations. They're thoroughly convinced we're the pawns of a vast Jewish conspiracy.

That might be nice, but no, I'm pretty sure we're our own independent idiots, answering to nobody but ourselves. It would be nice to be able to blame somebody else for our policy mistakes, though, wouldn't it?

Don't you love politics?

Jester

Today I was shopping in a grocery store. You know how they have little samples of products that they're trying to get you to buy? For some reason, in Texas, they always had little pieces of sausage. I never figured that out, but I digress.

The first one was a "crawfish pocket." My thought was "you know you're in Louisiana when..." But then - oh, and this is beautiful - they were giving out samples of Bacardi products, and there was a long line of college guys "trying them out." Only in New Orleans, I swear.

The stores are all confused around here - normally around this time, they'd be full of Super Bowl advertising, but for the first time ever, Super Bowl falls on Mardi Gras weekend. I saw one display where they had painted beads and Mardi Gras masks on opposing football players.

Of course, everybody here speaks a lingo that I don't quite follow, but I've gotten better at picking it up by context. "Well, I love the Endymion, but then, my favorite time is Lundi Gras, because that's even better than the day after, and besides, you've already seen most of the Krewes by then."

To which I say "Well, yeah!"

I've been flashed many times, but I haven't yet gotten any on camera. It's such a tough life I lead.

Well, I'll talk to you all soon.

Jester

Well, since my last post, I've seen two movies, and read two books.

The first movie was Jerry Bruckheimer's "King Arthur." What a waste of a movie. Predictable, boring, by the numbers. Just a retread of things we've all seen way, way, way too many times. The worst part is that it claims to be based on a true story, when it's at best based on an unproven theory concerning the origin of the King Arthur legend. If you're that bored, email me, and I'll give you a list of better movies to watch. Don't waste two hours of your life on this one.

The second movie was "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow." I can't recommend this one enough. It was incredible in many ways. It felt like a cross between reading a 1940's comic book and a 1930's film noir, with a little bit of the "Tom Swift, Jr." novels of the 1950s thrown in. Stylish, elegant, and innovative, while nostalgic, at the same time. Oh, and it had Angelina Jolie in it. Does the earth contain a sexier woman? I think not. But anyway, I loved the movie. I watched it four times - the first time normal, then with the audio commentaries (there were two), and then normal again. It renewed my faith in cinema... I'd go on and on, but I'd doubtlessly bore you - just buy the movie, and write me, and we can talk about it then.

I also read "Coyote Blue" and "Lamb" by Christopher Moore. No man takes a more skewed look at life, and yet, his observations on human character are dead on. The beauty of his humor is that he's simply pointing out just how bizarre humanity really is.

Oh, and I also walked up and down Bourbon Street a lot, watching the girls flash people for beads. Mardi Gras - what a wonderful time.

Talk to you all soon,
Jester

I think "Highlander" has ruined most sword-fighting movies for me. Now, every time I see somebody's head get chopped off, I expect to see a quickening.

You know, I was just reading a Christopher Moore book (always an enjoyable pastime), when I came across a a few phrases describing a girl named Calliope -

"...Calliope was able to define everything in her world, accept the highs and lows of life with resolve, and never be burdened by the need to understand. Why understand when you can believe? For Calliope, every event was mystical and every moment magical..."

And it hit me - that's what bothers me about the way most people use religion. It's an excuse to not think.

I sent out an email at New Year's concerning all the changes that I'd faced over 2004. And I got a reply back from one girl, worried about the state of my soul because I hadn't given God credit. Well, if you believe God is the divine author of all events, then I don't need to mention Him, do I? And if you don't, then nothing I say is going to change your mind. But most of all, I can't imagine the omnipotent, omniscient creator of the entire universe sitting at His throne, worrying about the content of one of my emails.

Everybody around New Orleans seems to be totally into Astrology. And no matter what you do, they blame it on your sign. If I'm either happy or sad, it's because I'm a Gemini. People ask me for advice on what Geminis think, as if one in twelve people will react to all events the same, because of the tilt of the earth on the day I was born. (In fact, due to changes in the calendar, all astrological signs are about a month off... But that's another story). I've heard one person talking about manifesting a parking space for themself, by using good karma, or something like that.

I'm on a quest to understand everything. As a result, I tend to believe nothing - unless it can be proven, or the evidence very convincing and thorough. I use religion as a basis for my understanding of things spiritual, and am more philosophical about it than anything else. I can quote Scripture with the best of them, and consider myself a Christian, but I find that I have very little in common with most people who call themselves Christian.

And I find it sad that people have so little faith in their professed beliefs that they can't handle either being questioned, or entertaining the possibility that they might be wrong. The "Religious Right" is STILL fighting a battle to prove evolution wrong, when it's a moot point for virtually any scientist, or even open-minded rationalist - and has been, for decades!

I find it sad when people must place every event into a category of "Good vs. Evil." I'm sorry, but if I'm a good person, it may change a lot of things, but it won't prevent a flat tire. And if I get one, it's not Satan testing me. I remember being on a Youth Trip with a charismatic church about ten years ago. One of the cars broke down, so the elders of the church tried to cast the demon out of the carburetor. Ten guesses on whether it worked? And when it didn't, it was obviously because of the lack of faith amongst the youth.

Religion can be a great tool for understanding things spiritual. But when applied to things physical, it quickly becomes little more than a joke. But people are so determined to not have to think, to not use their intellect, to not strive for understanding of the physical world... And religion quickly goes from being a source of freedom and truth, to a set of shackles, preventing them from truly understanding the world we live in. And I find that sad. Very, very sad.

Okay, getting off my soapbox, now. Talk to you all later,

Jester

Well, it's been pretty busy the last couple of weeks for me. How about you?

My brother had his second kid. Despite my repeated assertions that the best name would be "Jess Tandy Mills Junior the Fifth," he went with "Matthew Jess Mills." Still, a pretty good name. Now, for his firstborn, I was told that my job was to
a) be the Godfather (I wore a double-breasted suit to the christening)
and
b) learn the moonwalk
I haven't found out my new assignments yet, but I'm waiting.

I'm about to move into the French Quarter - should be quite exciting. I'm a little worried about how noisy it'll be in the daytime, but other than that, I'm really pumped. No more driving in heavy traffic, no more looking for parking... I can practice during my breaks... Plus, I'll be living next door to George Rossi, an incredible pianist, so I'm going to be hitting him up for free lessons all the time.

I've been watching "Lord of the Rings" - the extended DVD editions, plus appendices. As you know, it was filmed in New Zealand. Where exactly is Old Zealand? Do any of you know?

Dance Lessons are going extremely well. My teacher is talking about taking me to competitions, which I'm a little nervous about. But still, I'm having a blast. Of course, I work every night I could possibly go dancing, but that's beside the point. Should there ever come a day when I need to get on the dance floor, I'm coming closer and closer to a point where I won't look like an idiot.

I'm starting to lose touch with a few of my Texas friends, which sucks. I either need to take a vacation, or fly them out here more often. What, me take a vacation? Shah! As if! Southwest Airlines, here we come!

Anyway, keep writing at me, and I'll keep trying to stay on top of all the emails.

Jester

Okay, I just don't understand women sometimes.

Not that this is really breaking news, but...

I've never really cared for the song "Your Body is a Wonderland." I thought it was stupid, cheesy, poorly written, and boring as hell. And that's saying a lot, in the world of pop music.

However, girl after girl after girl has told me it's just the most sexy, romantic song ever. And I invariably ask "Why? It's just about a guy getting a piece!" The uniform response has been that he just says it so perfectly, so sexy, that you can bet he'd get it.

Well, always wanting to increase my "getting some" skills, I looked at the song. Could't be the chords - it was a typical country music progression, I, V, IV, V. It couldn't be the melody, 'cause it's only four or five notes in typical step-wise fashion. No catchy rhythms.

Must be the lyrics. Let's see...

Is it the line about "One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tongue."? I don't know about you, but nothing says "sexy" like bubblegum. Maybe it's "swimming a deep sea of blankets." There're few descriptions in life more poetic than that, right? Hmm... Maybe it's just the whole "Your body is a wonderland, your body is a wonder, I'll use my hands" line. Because you know, it's always good to mention using your hands.

Okay, I give up. I find nothing outstandingly sexy or unusually romantic about this song. I've learned it, and I'll undoubtedly sing it five times a week for the rest of my piano bar career, but I just don't get this one. Out of all the romantic songs, all the sexy songs, this one I would put at the bottom of my list. And all the girls reading this will be saying "he just doesn't get it." And they'll be right. But I'd love for you to explain it (without just telling me "it's the way he says it.")

Aaarrgghh....

Talk to you all later,

Jester

Happy New Year!

It was a wild night in New Orleans. I'm going to post some pics soon showing just how crowded it was - St. Peter's was standing room only - in the STREET!

I've sent out my annual "New Year's Rant." If you've ever emailed me, you probaby got a copy of it. If not, let me know, and I'll send you one.

Talk to you all soon!

Jester

Wonder of wonders; we had a white Christmas here in New Orleans. From what I hear, that's the first time in 40 or 50 years...

I got totally schnockered on Christmas Eve, then slept most of Christmas Day. 'Twas a good time.

Tonight I was watching "Stargate: SG-1." I realized what made it such a brilliant pilot. It had sarcasm, yes. It had decent special effects. It had a plot, and a nice Sci-Fi element. But it came through in the most important category of all; bare breasts.

So many shows these days are lacking in the ever-so-necessary female nipple viewing minimum requirement. Even R-rated movies these days often lack female nudity. They're more likely to show men's asses than women's. And I know I'm biased, but I think naked women are much more esthetically pleasing than men.

I think there should be a standard in every movie and TV show; at least four scenes of bare breasts, two of bare asses (female), and at least one of full frontal nude shot (female, of course, and preferable shaved).

I mean, there's no show that wouldn't be better off this way; imagine "Friends" if you'd gotten to see Phoebe in the bathtub, or "Alias" if Jennifer Garner were running from a scene all naked and jiggling, or "Angel" with Cordelia showing off those magnificent ta-tas! Name the show, and I will tell you how it would be better off with more female nudity.

Except "Golden Girls."

Also, Bin Laden wouldn't be able to air any of his messages, if he knew they'd keep throwing in nude shots of women. It goes against his screwed-up religious principles (killing and wounding thousands of innocents; God loves you. Eating bacon and seeing women naked? You're going to hell). So, as long as there's a lack of TV and Movie nudity, the terrorists have won.

Anyway, that's my contribution to the betterment of society, and world peace. Talk to you later!

Jester

I just watched the making of "Pirates of the Caribbean." I was struck by several things...

1) That a movie that cool came from a theme park ride that lame is quite incredible.

2) Johnny Depp is bad-ass. Not many men can pull off looking cool while wearing eyeliner.

3) I want to be Orlando Bloom. Nothing more to add to that.

4) Whoever came up with the phrase "Fire at Will!" must've hated Will. Just once on "Star Trek: the Next Generation" I wanted somebody to shoot Will Riker when Picard said that. Yeah, I'm weird.

5) Whoever wants to be a pirate obviously doesn't place dental hygiene in high priority.

6) I want to be Orlando Bloom. Okay, I already mentioned it. But it's still true.

7) Jerry Bruckheimer should've been put in charge of "Phantom of the Opera." Yes, technically speaking, the Phantom never makes anything explode, and there couldn't be too many cool car or boat chases... But it still would've been way cool.

Merry Christmas!

Damn, I hate the holidays.

I don't know if I'd mentioned that before. Just thought I'd let you know.

I've been pretty much out of food for a week, but I've been eating the dregs of my pantry to avoid going to the store. Finally, I had nothing left, so I went tonight. I thought if I went at 2:00 in the morning, I'd be safe from the crowds.

Nope. After fighting the crowds (and having the store be almost out of everything), I ended up waiting 45 minutes in the checkout line.

One thing I've noticed; I think I'm the only person in Louisiana who puts the shopping cart in the receptacle for it in the parking lot. There will be (literally) hundreds of carts scattered throughout the parking lot, and not one of them will be in the receptacle. It's very odd.

Also, I'm not sure if people are more charitable, or just more needy, but I had nine phone calls from charities yesterday morning. I was keeping the ringer on because I was expecting a phone call from a friend that I really wanted to talk to, but finally I just had to turn the ringer off.

But a few more days, and the shitty christmas music season will be over! I won't have anybody asking me to play "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" for eleven months! You know, that song was funny the first few hundred times I heard it. Then again, I also used to like "Piano Man," "Sweet Home Alabama," "Walking in Memphis," "Tiny Dancer" and "Brown-Eyed Girl." But after playing them each four or five times a night for two years, I'm ready to not ever hear them again.

It's gotten cold. I think the proper meteorological term is "bitch-cold." It's 35 right now, and heading down towards the 20s. Of course, the person I talk to the most is way up in the Northern part of the states, so I won't get any sympathy from her.

Almost a year ago, I was talking a lot to Anna, and she was snowed into her house a lot. That's just a bizarre concept to me. Of course, I don't really have any experience with snow, and that's not likely to change.

"Phantom of the Opera" is out now. I'll probably go see it Christmas Eve, if any Theatres are open during the day. After listening to the CDs extensively, I've decided that Schumacher is a total dumbass. I mean, I knew that before, but it's been thoroughly reinforced. He took the elements that made that my favorite musical of all time, and just tossed them out the window. I guess it's hard to see what you're doing when your head is that far up your ass, though.

But soon It'll be New Year's Eve. Last New Year's Eve, I was working at "Howl at the Moon" in San Antonio, and I thought life couldn't get any better. Man, was I wrong! 2004 has been by far the best year of my life, and I have hopes that 2005 will top it.

I'll be sending out my twice yearly State of the Union (or Jess's Life) email in a week or so. If you've ever emailed me, you'll probably get a copy of it (unless I really don't like you...). Look forward with glee, or foreboding, whichever you find more appropriate.

Talk to you all soon!

Jester

It's something that just needs to be said...

Mothers; when you're naming your son, think about whether you want grandkids someday. If you do, there are certain things you should NOT name your son. It will ruin any chance he has of procreating if you name him something like:

Alfred
Buford
Darrell
Elwood
Gunther
Leonard
Marvin
Randall

I mean, to get anywhere, he'll have to be good-looking, charming, and already have given the girl multiple orgasms before he tells her his name. No girl wants to scream "Marvin" in the throes of passion.

Of course, no mother wants to think about her son having sex. But hopefully, he's going to. And you should have some consideration here.

I've left a whole lot of bad names off that list. I'm sure some of you all will email me with several I didn't mention, and I'll probably devote a later blog to them. But that's a good start, and if I've helped the world in any way, I'll be glad.

Jester

O, happy day! O, Frabjuos, wondrous fervolity!

As many of you know, I have had a thoroughly unhealthy obsession with Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the Opera" since I was a teenager. Within weeks of hearing it for the first time, I had bought and memorized the original score. I sang every male role in it at my house and at the movie theater I managed. My best friend from those days, Jonathan Fernandez, shared my love of the musical, and we would sing it over and over again, sometimes recording ourselves, just to hear how bad we were. He couldn't hit the low notes back then, and I couldn't hit the high ones. I've listened to it beginning to end several thousand times, I imagine.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago, when the effort to make the movie took off again. First was the dread because it looked like Antonio Banderas would get the role of the Phantom. Although he turned in a masterful performance as Che in the movie version of "Evita," his voice could hardly be more wrong for the role of the Phantom.

Then I heard Joel Schumacher would direct. Now I'll admit, I loved "Lost Boys." But I've hated pretty much everything he's directed since then, and several of my top five worst movies of all time were directed by him (#2 being "Batman Forever"). So I was thinking that my favorite musical of all time was going to become total shit.

The momentary sigh of relief from hearing that Antonio was not getting the role was overshadowed by hearing that it would go to Gerard Butler, who had never sung before. Why? Because he was, and I quote Schumacher here, "Young and sexy, which is what the role needed." Which just goes to show how little he understands the story. The curse of the Phantom in this story is that he's old and ugly.

The pictures I saw of the production looked like I had always imagined it, though. So I figured that visually, it would be a masterpiece. Just not musically.

But I just got in the soundtrack to the movie, and you know what? It's not bad. I mean, Butler is no Michael Crawford, but he gives a very passionate performance, if not as trained and smooth as the Phantom is supposed to be. I have not had time to thoroughly examine every song, but so far, I'm pleasantly suprised.

I still think if they were going for someone young and incredibly sexy, they should have picked me. I can sing the hell out of that role, now. But maybe they just figured I was above such things.

Anyway, now I can't wait to see the movie. I am once again excited about it.

How do you feel? Or do you even care about it? Let me know!

pianoman@jessmills.com


Talk to you later,
Jester

In case any of you ought there are unaware, the world has changed, and there are great times ahead. No longer will we have to suffer the way we did, and the easy life has gotten easier.

That's right, you know what I'm referring to. Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper is now available in cans.

For years and years, if you had a craving for this divine concoction, the only possible improvement upon that sweet nectar of the gods we call Dr. Pepper, the only way to satisfy that craving was to go to your local Sonic and order it. But of course, then you had to brave the hordes of high school kids who thought the ultimate of cool was to hang out for awhile at the Sonic Drive-In, before going to "cruise the loop" (drive in circles around town for a few hours, in other words). And nothing can spoil an appetite like being around high school kids.

But all that is behind us, for we can go to the store and buy 12 packs, or even 20 packs! Or, if you're counting calories (as opposed to counting crows, which I'm all in favor of), you can get Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, which is probably the only soda that needs five words for its name. They had to work to cram all that in on the can.

Let us rejoice!

Jester

Call me a grinch, but I really don't like the holidays.

For one, the music is terrible. At most, there's about 50 Christmas songs that they play over and over and over and over and over again. And most of them are badly written, and badly performed. And no matter where you go, they're playing there. I thought I could at least escape it at work, but my coworkers all seem to love Christmas songs, and keep asking the audience to request their favorites. And vomiting onstage is frowned upon, for some reason.

Second of all, I don't like being in crowds. Well, that means I can't go anywhere from Thanksgiving to New Year's. Everybody's shopping, and eating out, and in a really big hurry, and usually in a surly mood. Rudeness abounds while they tell you about holiday cheer.

Third, it's just so commercial. What do I buy this person? How much into debt can I go to pay for all the gifts? Have I included a card for every single person I've ever met? My dad once told me that your family is the people you're related to by love, not blood. But that certainly doesn't seem to be the case during the holiday. You're expected to treat total strangers like they're you're best friends, simply because you share some genetic material.

For that matter, the holidays are way too secular. And those that participate in the religious aspect often do so because they ignore their "beliefs" the rest of the year. As a former church musician, I always knew we'd have a packed house at Christmas and Easter. The rest of the time, the front rows were always empty.

But Santa Claus, and Rudolf, and Jingle Bells, and all that bull - that's what's more prevalent. And I'll tell you why; it's easier to sell stuff with them. When people feel guilty about God and Jesus, they give money to the church to soothe their conscience. When they feel guilty about other people, they buy them gifts. Well, your average business owner is more concerned with turning a profit than seeing how the Sunday Contributions are going.

But the worst part? You're expected to have a lover during the holidays. If you're single, people spend so much time telling you how bad they feel for you that even if you felt great before, you sure won't afterwards! Every activity is geared towards couples and families. Every movie and song is about couples and families. There's no time that you'll feel more alone than during the holidays.

No wonder depression and alcohol abuse are so rampant at this time of year!

When I was a kid, there was one good thing about the holidays. My grandmother would have a feast (usually Mexican food), and my extended family would get together. And though there were some people I didn't really know in that mix, it was usually a fun time, with lots of food, and laughter... I'd often end up playing her Steinway, and we'd just have a good time. She'd buy a lot of crap gifts, and we'd end up with bags of junk to take home... But it wasn't about the gifts.

She passed away a few years ago. Various members of the family have tried to revive the tradition, but it just hasn't worked. And that's okay - times change. But I hate the artificial nature of how the holidays are celebrated.

So yeah, I'm a grinch. But you know what? I'm okay with that. Even if I didn't like the movie with Jim Carrey.

Talk to ya later!

Jester

(to the tune of "Sounds of Silence")

Hello, weblog my old friend
I've come to write in you again
Though I'll admit that I've neglected you
Please don't think that I've rejected you
I've simply had other things to do
I hope you knew
That I still love my weblog...

Anyway, it's been a fun and interesting time the last few weeks. I've had a succession of friends come and visit.

First there was Janelle, who I don't think was overly impressed with New Orleans, but we had a good time anyway. We played pool, and she let me win. I can't argue with that. She liked all the gay guys in interesting outfits for Halloween. I liked all the girls wearing virtually nothing as their costumes. But that's just me.

Then Caleb came over, and despite our grandiose plans, we basically just watched "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" all weekend long. That is such an incredibly good show. Is there anyone out there who reads this blog that is not totally hooked on that show? Please let me know; I'll loan you the Season One DVDs.

Then my friend Monica came over for a visit. We had a good time, though many of the things that had previously driven us apart were still in evidence. But we saw a lot of sights, went out a few times, and just generally had a relaxing time. It was only the second time we'd ever been anywhere without her son with us, and that made things a lot easier to plan. She didn't care too much for the Hurricanes, but she LOVED the Hand Grenades.

While she was here, she danced a couple of times at the Hustler Barely Legal club. I went to pick her up one night, and it was a real revelation to me. The previous times I'd been to strip clubs, they seemed to be a strange combination of frustration and enticement. This time, I was just thoroughly bored. The girls I date now are way hotter than any girls that strip, and a lot more classy. And for that matter, the thought of having to pay a girl to act interested in me just seems pathetic. I've definitely moved far beyond my former days of dating strippers. Which is a good thing; they're expensive girls to date.

In other news, a few months ago I mentioned how most of my female friends were hooking back up with their loser boyfriends/fiancees/husbands, and swearing that they were completely changed. Well, with one exception they've all now broken up with those guys, realizing that the changes were cosmetic, at best. As I've said before, people rarely, rarely change. I have to see it, and see it last, before I believe it for a second.

The one exception is Anna, who is still with her husband, and apparently happy. She doesn't claim so much that he's changed, though, she's just changed what she's looking for, I think. I'm not completely sure, since we're apparently not on speaking terms anymore. Which is mostly my fault. I was not always the most tactful of people in talking to her. Honesty is always a bad habit of mine. I do miss her, though; she was very insightful in analyzing my psyche. Plus, she has one helluva singing voice.

Speaking of which, my singing is getting much, much better. My friends have all noticed. I guess doing something for a living five or six nights a week will do that to you. I've got a long way to go, but I'm moving closer to being ready to really front my own band.

I've made a new friend on the internet, something I don't do too often. Her name is Christine, and she's a fascinating individual who lives in New York, and used to be a model in Hawaii... She's a mother of two, and I don't get to talk to her anywhere near as much as I'd like, but she's way cool.

I'm also starting to get to know my co-worker Amy Trail better. She's got a great sense of humor, and manages to slip the naughtiest little comments onstage while looking completely innocent. Plus, she has probably the best voice at Pat O' Brien's. And I've also been hanging out with George Rossi and Kristen Cady, two of the other entertainers there. Musicians; weird, quirky habits, but a lot of fun.

Well, I'll try to keep things posted a lot more. Later!

Jester