None of us is perfect. Somewhere, in some way, each of us has flaws, and problems. Some of us have fewer than others, true, but still...

I have decided to come face to face with one of my flaws. They say that the first step towards fighting a problem is admitting you have one. Well, I admit it, though I have denied the truth to myself for years, it's time to face the facts.

I have dandruff.

For years, I blamed the hairspray and the gel for flaking off, and to some extent, this was true, But I haven't worn any gel for a few days, and still, the flaking is there.

I don't blame myself; I blame my father. He had dandruff, too, and not being content to suffer alone, passed it along to me. What vicious cycles we perpetrate, handing these problems down to our children.

Well, I'm making a stand. I'm using anti-dandruff shampoo. I'm not going to just accept flaking, oh no! I'm going to face my flaws with courage, integrity, determination, and an active ingredient of 1% selenium sulfide.

Pray for me, my friends. With strength, I will overcome.

Jester

Well, the hurricane that was going to wash away New Orleans didn't. Here in Metairie (the suburb of N.O. that I live in), we didn't even get a drop of rain. And all the people that told me I was ten kinds of idiot for staying, well... I hate to say I told you so, but - I told you so.

Not that hurricanes aren't something to fear, something to reckon with, and something to take seriously. I just knew this one wasn't going to affect me.

What was cool was that almost every friend I have called or emailed to check on me, and see how I was. That was pretty cool. It let me know which of my friends really care. Of course, they all thought I was a fool for staying, but that's okay.

Did you know that there's a breed of penguin called Macaroni? Neither did I. But there is. And now we both know.

I'm going to spend today learning college fight songs. I really, really hate college fight songs. But I get paid money to play them, and I'm a... What's the word... Whore. Yeah, that's it. I'm a musical whore.

Well, I'm going to practice for my whoredom now. I may post again later. Then again, I might just keep reading some more David Gemmel books.

Remember - Gravity; it's not just a good idea, it's the law.

Jester

Okay, so I’m ignoring the evacuation warnings, and staying here in New Orleans. Why? Several reasons, the first probably being that I’m stupid at times, and still have my naive youthful belief in my own invulnerability. Also, I haven’t heard any good reasons to leave.

I’ve been bored and cooped up in my house. Not that I’m locked in, but every place that I could go is closed down in anticipation of Ivan. So I’ve been reading, practicing, and the last few hours, experimenting with drinks. I found a great one; “Silk Stockings.”

1.5 ounces tequila (I use "Tres Generaciones" - very smooth)
1.5 ounces creme de cacao
1 ounce light cream
1 dash grenadine

shake real well with ice, serve in prechilled cocktail glass with a dash of cinammon on top. Most, most excellent.

My friend Mark and his wife are coming up at the beginning of October. I am looking forward to that, should be a blast. Also, I think I’m getting closer to persuading Lynnette and Janelle to come here some weekend.

I recently got the whole “All I want is your friendship” speech. Why do we say that, when what we really mean is “I’m not going to really talk to you much any more, and when I do, it will probably be brief, awkward, and trivial. But I hope you think fondly of me!”? I have often complained that virtually no relationships are based on true honesty. But virtually no brush-offs are, either.

Maybe I’m callused. But brush-offs don’t really bother me. God knows I’ve had enough of them, and I will in the future. But I hate it when they give mixed signals for long periods of time, because they’re “trying to let you down gently.” I’m cynical enough that as soon as I get mixed signals, I assume the worst (and it’s been true every time so far). But dishonesty just pisses me off, no matter what the motive is. I understand Billy Joel’s song “Honesty” more and more, the older I get.

I do kinda wonder, though. I thought last year that I could not get any more cynical than I already was. And now I am. Is there a limit to cynicism? If so, call me a Brave New Explorer, Going Where No One Has Gone Before.

Am I the only one that noticed that the Enterprise almost NEVER went where no man had gone before?

I unpacked some tapes of my first few months at “Howl at the Moon.” I sucked back then. I mean really, really sucked. I’m not great now, but damn... I threw the tapes away, of course.

I got tired of my haircut, so I grew my goatee again, and gave myself a buzzcut. I may post a few pictures of it.

I don’t know what to do with all this spare time. I’ve practiced 8 hours today. It’s the middle of the week, so all my normal friends are at work, and most of my non-normal friends are busy evacuating. Hmm... I think more alcohol is in order.

Remember, in Idaho, it’s against the law to fish for trout while sitting on the back of a giraffe.

Jester

I think if you took James Taylor, and kept him drunk on Rum for a few years, he'd be Jimmy Buffet.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

Jester

Had "Highlander" been written by Joss Whedon, I think it would have been the ultimate show. After all, it had gorgeous girls, frequent sword-fighting, cool cars, and immortality. Other than bare breasts, I can't think of anything lacking.

Anyway, I'm back from my Texas trip (obviously). For the most part, it went well. My house was seriously dirty, so I spent more time cleaning than packing, but through massive lack of sleep, I managed to get everything done in time. Now if only there'd been more bare breasts.

My friends Jacob and Maggie loaned me their truck to haul everything to Nawlins, and Maggie came with me to help unload, then drive the truck back. I think she enjoyed it here, but she was here less than two days, so I didn't have time to take her to see most of the sites. Oh well, maybe next time.

Friday night the crowds LOVED me. Saturday, they let out a collective "Meh." Tonight they were really into my show. It's like "Pat O'Brien's; the Roller Coaster." Of course, on none of those nights did I see any bare breasts. I think I'm suffering from withdrawals. If there are any ladies out there willing to help me with this, please let me know.

Since I've been back, I've been watching mainly "Sliders" and "Highlander." I think "Sliders" would have been better if John Rhys-Davies' character had been like his portrayal of "Gimli" in "Lord of the Rings." After all, what show isn't better off with a dwarf carrying an axe?

One of my friends just got a job as a nurse. While I applaud her drive, she's quit paying quite so much attention to me. I'm not happy about that. After all, am I not the center of everyone's universe? If not, why not? That's just how it should be. Well, maybe when I take over the world. And there'll be a lot more bare breasts, too, I'll tell you that much.

Well, I'm trying to think of news here. Still fixing up the apartment. Still spending most of my days trying to learn more songs. I'm not getting too much action on the women front here, but considering I've been working pretty much every night since I've been back, I guess that's to be expected.

As far as my female friends, they've all gone back to their loser boyfriends/husbands. And in most cases, the guys have done a "complete change, like he's a new person!!!" Meh. In a few months, they'll be complaining to me again. It's always bothered me how women keep falling for the same acts over and over. But then again, we're no better. Men manipulate women, women manipulate men, and all the while, both keep saying "I want somebody who won't play games!"

Not that I've grown even more cynical after my recent experiences, or anything.

But that's okay, 'cause I'm a musician. And what cooler job can there be than that? Other than Movie star. Or professional athlete. Or porn star. Yeah, other than those.

On that note, I'll try to keep this thing a little more updated. Keep writing to me at
pianoman@jessmills.com

And remember; panties aren't the best thing in the whole world. But they're right next to it.

Jester

Well, I'm here in Pleasanton. I'd tell you how exciting it is to be back, but I'd be lying. Excitement in Pleasanton is a trip to the Super Wal-Mart.

It happened again - I wrote a long blog entry (while typing away at a computer at the Public Library), and it didn't publish. And I hadn't saved it, 'cause it wasn't my computer.

Anna called me yesterday to apologize. With all the stress she's under right now, I probably should have been more understanding. But no matter how much stress she's under, she is cool enough to admit when she's wrong, which is more than most people can do under the best of circumstances. Every time I think she can't be any cooler, she proves me wrong. Why can't she be single, and living in New Orleans?

One nice thing about being back for alittle while is that I'm really popular. Everybody is coming to see me. Last night I got to see Jacob, and Caleb, and Maggie, and Shauna, and Lisa. And a guy I didn't know, who was with them. Today I got to see my sis Amy, and tonight I'm eating steaks with my mom and step-dad, and then my friend Sherri may be coming by.

My friends are awesome - Caleb and I were supposed to make the trip back, but his truck is in the shop. So Maggie and Jacob are seeing if they can take me back. It's a true friend who offers to make a 10 hour road trip with you, then drive 10 hours back.

Well, I'm going to try publishing this, and see what happens.

P.S. Anna - if you're reading this, you rock. If you're not reading this, then I'm hurt that you're not devouring my every written word... :(

Well, I had just written a long entry for the blog. I went to publish it, and two firsts happened:

1) I didn't save it first
2) it didn't publish, and reported an error instead (like I know what to do with that)

So anyway... Quick rundown...

Had a big fight with Anna. But for once, I'm not backing down on, 'cause for a change, I wasn't wrong. She thinks I'm playing games. I think she's using a double standard, and I feel like you shouldn't accuse somebody unless you're certain. So we'll see where things go. I've never believed in apologizing unless you mean it. And I certainly couldn't mean it right now.

Heard from my friend Caroline yesterday. We were buddies all during college at SFA, but slowly lost touch afterwards. It was great to hear from her, and now I'm trying to get her to plan a road trip to Nawlin's. It's looking like December is a distinct possibility.

Had a date after work last night. Which was a pretty cool concept in and of itself. Went out to eat a cool little cafe in the French Quarter (our waiter had blue hair - I LOVE New Orleans!). After that we hit a few bars, heard a couple of live bands. Ended up at the Maple Leaf Bar listening to Tony Hall jam with a local band. If you don't know who that is (which I didn't before last night), he's the bass player for the Dave Matthews band.

But they laid down a funky groove so tight that I actually got out on the dance floor. And didn't look too terribly white, either. Now that's a good groove.

It was the first band I've heard since I've been here that was so good that I don't know if I could hang with them. They were just incredible.

Anyway, the day started out in suck, and ended in incredible. Much better than the opposite.

Now I'm off to Texas! Yee-Haw!!!

I want to have super powers. I really, really want to.

But I don’t want to be a superhero, or an archnemesis of one.

First of all, there’s the whole cape issue. Everybody knows that capes are cool. But none of us get to wear them! I want to walk down the street with my cape billowing out behind me. I want people to see the cape, and immediately know I have super powers of one variety or another. But no, if I were to wear a cape, people would think I was a gay musician, or a circus performer. Not that there’s anything wrong with those lifestyles, of course. But they’re not me.

On the other hand, I don’t want to wear spandex. That only looks good on... Okay, I can’t actually think of any guys it looks good on. There are a few chicks I know that look good in spandex, but crime-fighting isn’t what I’d be thinking about if I saw them...

And what’s with wearing underwear on the outside? Is it just everybody following Superman’s trend? Come on, he has an excuse; he got his fashion sense from an alien planet. What about all the others? And where do they put the car keys? Do I even want to know

Having said that, most of the superpowers are really cool (except phlegm-man... But he was short-lived anyway). I mean, looking through walls, superspeed, melting things with your eyesight... But I’d have to say my top five would be

5) Teleportation. It would save so much money on the gas. Be great for the environment. And you’d always be where you wanted to be. Plus, you could confound Mr. Scott.

4) Superstrength. If you’re a scrawny guy like me, you’ve always had the dream of being stronger than all the guys who spend five hours a day in the gym. And if Buffy Summers can have superstrength whilst she’s looking all anorexic in seasons five through seven (yes, I’m that much of a nerd), then I could too.

3) Flying. ‘Cause... I mean, do I have to explain this one? Flying!!!

2) Mind-reading. First of all, you’d be the ultimate businessman. You could always get the best deal possible. You could figure out how to sweet-talk any deal. And man, you’d be the ultimate playa. The second you start talking to a girl, you’d know your chances. No wasted time. And you’d always know the right thing to say and/or do. Yeah, money and women. What more do you need?

1) Immortality. Because hey, why be in a rush? Go to college for a few hundred years, get a masters in everything! Travel the world, see it all. And I do mean it all. And by that time, there’ll probably be other worlds to travel to. I know, the immortals in fiction are always whining because their loved ones grow old and die, and they have to say goodbye. Well, so what? We mortals will all have the same problem!

But superheroes are always too arrogant. I know, you’re thinking that not all of them are. But they are. Look at their relationships. Every one of them won’t tell their significant other their true identity (unless they’re dating another superhero), because they “won’t risk” the person they love. How condescending can you get? I love you, but I’m not going to let you make up your mind about how much loving me is worth risking? What does that say about my respect for you? Not a whole lot. I’d be like, “hey, here’s the deal. Here’s the risks, here’s the benefits, make up your own mind... But keep in mind that ‘man of steel’ has many different interpretations, baby...” Yeah, I'm arrogant, too. But at least I know it, and don't try to make up everybody else's mind for them.

On the other hand, supervillains are all really stupid. No matter how intelligent they are, they’ll throw away all their plans just to try to kill a superhero, even if he/she isn’t interfering with the plans for world domination! They end up playing “Dr. Evil” with their overly-elaborate death traps.

None of that for me. Let me pull a Methos, and just hang around for a long, long time, getting the lay of the land, and living it up. Rule the world? Tomorrow, maybe. Money and women is all I need right now.

But most of all, I’d like to jam music with Willie Nelson. And if I had superpowers, I bet he’d be all for it.

Anyway, them there are my thoughts. I’m going to go put on a cape, and go fight for truth, justice, and poontang!

To the Jestermobile!!!!

Well, I got griped at enough that I figured I should go ahead and update. Now that I think about it, though, I kinda like the griping; it lets me know that people are actually reading this. Why, I don't know. I haven't written anything interesting in about four or five months.

My friend Katie is here, and has been here for a couple of days. We've been having a blast. Last night we went on a Jazz cruise, which was beautiful, and we've just done a lot of relaxing and hanging out and talking. We also went shopping yesterday; I wanted to get her the most scandalous outfits I could talk her into wearing (she's a ballerina, and has the body for it), and she wanted to dress nicely. A good time was had by all. But she wouldn't wear the stripper outfits. Go figure. You'd think she had class, or dignity. In which case, you've got to wonder why she's hanging out with me!

Lynnette probably isn't going to be able to make it out here this month. Which is a total bummer - I was looking forward to it. Haven't seen her in awhile. But there have been a lot of cancellations in people's travel plans for here; Anna isn't going to be able to make it, either.

Yesterday Katie and I walked pretty much the entire French Quarter. It was awesome. I've never been around someone who could walk all day long like I can. Anna says that she can, but I'll believe it when I see it. Which I probably won't anytime soon, but that's another story. I've also discovered that Katie can drink me under the table. Which is a first. I've never had anyone outdrink me before. But oh, can she.

My friend that thought she was pregnant wasn't. A good thing. She's already got a kid she can't really take care of.

I need to post some more of my life philosophies, I think. But right now I'm going through a very cynical period, so I need to let things settle a bit. People always mistake my cynicism for bitterness, and there's a big difference.

Well, Katie's out of the shower, so I'm going to be all social and stuff. Talk atchall later...

I was hanging out with a girl tonight, dressed all nice and casual, since it's my day off. She told me I ought to take some pics for my website dressed like I was, with (and I quote) "all those muscles bulging everywhere." No, I really don't know what she was talking about, but I was willing to go with it.

I don't think she was looking at my pants, so I assumed she was talking about my sleeveless shirt. As you know, flattery will get you everywhere with me, so I posted a couple more pics in the photos section of the website. I didn't shave for it, but I did just get a haircut. Not that it makes too much of a difference.

When I was getting the haircut, the lady kept asking me if I wanted to trim or wax my eyebrows. Now, I don't get haircuts too often (or I didn't use to, at least), but that seemed like a really odd question. Especially by the third time she brought it up. Now I'm going to be paranoid about having bushy eyebrows.

Today was my friend Alvin's Birthday. If you're reading this, Happy Birthday, Alvin! Yeah, I'm too cheap to buy you a freakin' card. Tell you what, next time I see you, I'll spring for a Heineken.

I just read Terry Pratchett's "Monstrous Regiment." I was rather disappointed. As a comedy, it wasn't all that funny. As social commentary, it wasn't that on target. And story wise, it was very, very predictable. Maybe I've been reading too much of his stuff. Oh well, it could be worse; he could be Nicholas Sparks.

Well, that's the news from this front. How go things in your neck of the woods?

Well, I finally took some pics with my digital camera, so that everybody can see my short hair. And I found out I'm even less photogenic than I had thought I was. For such an incredibly good looking guy, I always look like such a goober in photos.

I thought Anna was giving me the silent treatment. Turns out she had extenuating circumstances. For the record, I am in favor of extenuating circumstances, and against getting the silent treatment. And you can quote me on that, should you ever so desire.

I still have hopes she'll be coming up to visit next week. Not expectations, necessarily, but hopes.

My friend Sherri may come up in a few months. I talked to her tonight. 'Twould be most cool.

More people read my blog than I thought. When I don't update, people start emailing, or calling me, or asking about it. Go figure. It's not like I have anything to say. Of course, I check my friend's blogs several times a day. But we know I have no life.

Anyway, if you want to see my new short hair/clean cut look, either email me, and I'll send you pics, or check back onto my website home page every once in awhile. I'm going to try to change them out on a regular basis.

Some old ladies were flashing everybody at work tonight. It wasn't arousing to anybody (at least, any guys under 60, and I question that), but I thought it was pretty cool, anyway. I mean, these old ladies were still confident in themselves, and out to have a good time. When I'm that age, I won't be flashing anybody (hell, I wouldn't do that to anybody NOW!), but I hope I have that lack of dignity. It would suck for me to acquire dignity along the way.

Well, talk to you all soon.

Well, it's nice to be able to post again. They redesigned everything at blogger, and it won't work with Netscape now. So I've been unable to blog for awhile.

It works with Internet Explorer, which is good, I suppose. But it means I have to use a Microsoft product, and I have a deep and abiding hatred for all things Microsoft.

Oh well, not much in the news here; other than my microphone getting stolen, and the top of my car getting slashed. That's the problem with working around drunk people; sometimes they do stupid things. But it's always something.

Katie's visit is getting closer; I'm really looking forward to it. She wants to bring along her younger sister, though, which would interfere with my nefarious seduction schemes (and no, I'm not smooth enough to seduce sisters, not since I was 16). Oh well, I'm sure her boyfriend would've objected anyway. By the way, Katie, if you're reading this, I'm just kidding.

I've got one friend who has sworn off drinking, smoking, and sex. The smoking I understand. The rest? Why live?

I've got one friend who's finally ready to leave her husband. I'm not usually much for cheering on the breakup of marriages, but in this case, it's about damn time. Of course, she's not leaving until Friday, so we'll see whether she can keep her resolve that long. I sure hope so. Once she gets out of the situation she's in, she's never going to believe she stayed as long as she did.

Another friend thinks she might be pregnant (no, it's NOT mine, not a chance, you don't even need to ask). Protection, people! It's a great concept!

It's about time we have a black president. Not for racial reasons (well, normal ones, that is). But I realized that every president since Lincoln has no sense of style. We need a black man with some pimpin' style to be in the Oval Office. Just not Snoop Dogg. He's scrawnier than I am. But all these white guys with the dark suits... It's boring as hell. White guys (straight ones, at least) just have no since of style. It's not our fault; it's like dancing. We can't do it. Why not just admit it? I don't think whites are superior to blacks, or asians are smarter, or hispanics don't work, or any of those incredibly lame stereotypes. They're ridiculous.

But I've never seen a white boy dance well, and I've never seen one with any real fashion sense.

I'd vote for Andre3000 and Big Boi in a heartbeat. And I don't care what their political views are; I'd respect them more than Bush and Kerry.

Well, that's enough for now. Stay in touch!

Jess

pianoman@jessmills.com

Well, everybody's talking about the whole "gay marriage" issue. What I don't hear anybody doing is actually looking at the root issue; what business does the government have with marriage?

I know, I know, some people will point out the obvious issues of property and children, and say marriage is what protects and defines your rights concerning those issues. But that's somewhat misleading. People live with each other and have children outside of marriage on a fairly regular basis. Perhaps this was shocking fifty years ago, but it's not even yawn-worthy now.

I say there ought to be contracts available through the government concerning property rights of couples (or groups of three or more, if they so desire). Let them be called "civil unions" or "life-partner contracts" or even "legal shackles" if they so desire. Let them be binding legal contracts. Hell, we could even make some non-permanent ones, for those who don't want to deal with permanence.

Let there be laws concerning the rights of children, and the obligations of those who create them and those who raise them.

Then, let marriage be a completely religious thing. If you're a Baptist, and you think homosexuals and polygamists shouldn't be allowed to marry - then make sure your church won't marry them! Your church will remain devout towards its beliefs, and nobody's rights are trampled.

Seriously; what concern does the government have towards marriage? If I want to marry another consenting adult, it's no business of the government's whether it's a she, a he, or even a they. For those who are concerned with my mortal soul, let them deal with it in a religious fashion, not a legal one.

"Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and render unto God what is God's"

In every aspect of life, we should examine whether it really is the government's business, or whether it should be dealt with in another way. The easy way out is to say "there ought to be a law" about whatever. But is that really a good thing?

I also hear a lot of people saying "there ought to be universal health care, because we have a right to it." Since when?

I do believe in universal health care for children, as I believe in a free education (although my thoughts on education are a rant for another time).

But everybody? I don't want to pay for the people who refuse to exercise, who eat poorly, who smoke, who in many, many ways don't take care of their health. And if I choose not to take care of my health, you shouldn't be obliged to pay the price, either. But that's what a universal health care system will cause. And it has bankrupted every country that's tried it. Before we think about experimenting with such a thing, howzabout we try paying off our multi-TRILLION dollar debt?

Yes, I'm obviously a libertarian. But along with freedom comes the responsibility for your actions. And it seems fewer and fewer people desire either, except in patriotic songs.

*Sigh* Bush vs. Kerry. What a joke.

Jess

Had to stop to get gas at 3:00 am right outside the French Quarter. 'Twas one of the first times I've actually been frightened in years. When a whole bunch of big scary guys are telling you you're going to give them a ride... But no, I didn't. I actually made friends with some of them; they said they're going to come check me out at Pat O'Brien's.

Work on the apartment is going slowly, but surely. I'm in the phase where I'm ripping out things. Always fun.

One friend had to cancel her trip out here, but Katie is still planning on making it out. I'm looking forward to that; she was a blast the one chance I've had to really hang out with her. And this time, there will be alcohol involved. But that's a month away from now, so I'll have to be patient.

And of course I'm trying to get Anna out here again. But her schedule's still in limbo.

Well, I'm going to go to bed. If you want to, write me - I'm actually staying in touch with some of my friends more now that I'm farther away! Figure that one out!

Jess

Well, life continues its merry twists and turns. I thought I was going to get ahead this paycheck. Then I went to get my Louisiana license plates, and they said (after waiting 3 hours in line) "That'll be $403.05. Cash or check?"

I've been hearing some great pick-up lines since I've been here. Lines like:
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" "Do you have the energy?"
"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?"
"Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?"

The scariest thing is that I've seen some of them work. And I need to double check, but I think they're all from a pick-up lines website, www.linesthataregood.com - go figure. Even bad taste is online. Wait, that's why I've got a website!

"I think I could fall madly in bed with you."

I found a little apartment in the Vieux Carre. It's a fixer-upper. And I really enjoy doing that. I'll be spending today crawling around in the attic, checking out the insulation possibilities. It's only a block from Pat O'Brien's, so the location is ideal.

"If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?"

Well, Monica is in love with an Air Force guy (this week, at least), Katie's got a new boyfriend (one that's worried about me - hah! He obviously hasn't met me), Anna's husband is actually showing signs of removing his cranium from his rectal orifice, and I haven't heard from Lynnette for a little while, which usually means she's happy with her man. It's all good; I'm just glad it's not me, 'cause I'm too poor to be falling in love. Say what you will, if you're a guy, women are expensive.

"That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?"

Well, I'm off to play handy-man. Yup, that's good old studly carpenterman Jess hisself.

Talk atcha soon (sooner if you write to me)

Jester

pianoman@jessmills.com

Well, my friend Julie is about to head on out of town. 'Twas fun, and we'll have to have a repeat visit sometime.

My website is STILL down, and they keep telling me "it will be back up in 24 hours." I guess they didn't specify WHICH 24 hours, so I can't call them liars...

I learned today that talking on your cell phone in the rain just isn't cool. I'm going to have to take it into the shop tomorrow. Oh well. I needed to get a New Orleans area code, anyway...

Well, I'm going to take a quick nap before I drop Julie off at the airport. Keep writing to me, and I'll keep writing back with ever-so-clever responses. Or maybe form letters, depending on whether or not I actually like you...

Jester

A friend just called me up and said she couldn't sleep until she knew whether I was still doing my blog.

It's sad when the drugs start doing that to you.

I was online looking at Toyota Tundras. You know, you can really stack the list of options on those. For fun, I added everything I could think of, and it came out to be a $40,000 truck. Which is impressive, considering they start at 16something.

Pat O'Brien's is going incredibly well. All the other players seem to enjoy working with me, and I'm learning songs really, really fast. I'm mainly worried about football season, when I'll be expected to know every college fight song ever written (I know about 3 and a half).

But the last couple of weeks I've been working six days a week. If that holds out for any length of time, my bills are so going to be paid off soon.

I'm still trying to get a new pic made so I can put it on my website. I'm not very good at taking my pic in the mirror. As you can tell if you look at the pic on the front of my website.

My friend Anna came and spent a couple of days here. 'Twas fun. She had to leave way too soon, though. I would love to teach her how to do the piano bar gig. With her voice and looks, she'd make twice what I do. Of course, convincing her to move to New Orleans wouldn't be easy. But I can dream.

My friend Julie is coming up next week. The guys at Pat O's are so going to think I'm the ultimate playa. But I'm looking forward to hanging out with Julie. We haven't spent more than a day or two together in years.

Also, my friend Katie Parr may be coming up later this summer. I haven't seen her since I had just quit teaching school. So it's been about three years. I'm hoping she doesn't run in horror when she sees me all clean-shaven and short haired.

Frank and Jonathan are supposed to start recording the drums for my rock album next month. I can't wait to hear what they come up with. They are both so awesome, I'm just lucky to have them on board with this project.

Well, that's the news from Lake Woebegone.

Jess

Terry Pratchett is a genius.

During my breaks at work, I usually read a book or two. I had read a bit of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, but since moving to New Orleans, I have become truly addicted.

Each book satirizes a different topic (or two or three). Last night I read "Maskerade," which makes fun of Opera and musicals (namely "The Phantom of the Opera" by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber).

Normally I hate when authors write about music, since I rarely read anything that's accurate. Usually any attempts to write about music are painfully misconceived. But every subject that Mr. Pratchett tackles, he manages to sound like an insider writing to the uninitiated.

He manages to sum up so many absurdities so succintly that I often have to stop reading to laugh. Let me quote one passage from "Maskerade":

"Out in front the orchestra was already tuning up. The chorus was filing on to be A Busy Marketplace, in which various jugglers, gypsies, sword swallowers and gaily dressed yokels would be entirely unsurprised at an apparently drunken baritone strolling along to sing an enormous amount of plot at a passing tenor."

Can you count how many operas begin that way? I sure can't.

Anyway, I'm putting him right up there with Asimov, Brust, and Tolkien as my favorites.

Man, everybody's life is a soap opera, but mine. (Not that I'm complaining about mine)

I've got one friend trying to decide between her husband (a doctor) who has pretty much ignored her for the last five years, her ex-boyfriend (a dentist) who treated her like shit, and a new guy (a musician) that's... Well, he's a musician. What sane woman would go with that?

Then I've got one friend who's been breaking up with her boyfriend for several months now. And she's pining for her former boyfriend, who was also her college professor.

I've got one friend whose mother is having an affair with her ex-husband (the friend's ex, not the mother's... Can you say Eeeeuuuugggghhh?!?!?!?)

Meanwhile, I'm just working here at Pat O'Brien's.

It's awesome, the pay is great, the tips are great, the crowds are great... And it's on Bourbon St.

My mojo hasn't caught up with me yet; I haven't gone on a single date here in Louisiana yet. But that always happens when I move somewhere, and the girls here are starting to flirt, so I have hopes for the future.

Frank Favacho (the drummer guy) and Jonathan Fernandez (the everything else guy) met for the first time to work on some of the tunes for my CD. I can't wait to hear what they come up with. But I'm going to have a lot to live up to vocally speaking...

Anyway, more soon.

Remember, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the back of the couch.

Jess

Haha! I'm back!

Okay, for those who read this blog, but didn't know (if there are any such), I've moved to New Orleans. I'm the newest Piano Entertainer at Pat O'Brien's on Bourbon St. Also, I've been without Internet for almost a month. I had the shakes bad, man. Anyway, I'll be posting more soon, but the important thing is JESTER'S BACK!!!!!