Well, it's been one helluva week.

I've gotten two job offers, and had two of my most lucrative nights at Pat O's ever. Which is good - expenses are running rather high right now.

My friend Mark came up for a last minute audition at Pat O's, and he did a great audition. He starts a two-week trial run Wednesday. Damn, but I hope he makes it.

Dance lessons are going real well again. Tango technique was kicking my ass, but now we've moved on to Rumba, which (at least at the level I'm at) is very simple. I've just got to get as good as I can before Katie gets here.

Speaking of which, she's coming in a week and a half... I'm looking forward to it, but there's a lot to do before she gets here. Most of which I'll probably do the night before she arrives. I'm the best at planned procrastination.

And then I'm off to see my sis graduate. Yay, Amy! You rock, girl.

I've been updating my website. Hadn't had a makeover in a year or so. So far I've done the front page and the Photos page. Nothing too drastic - I'm just trying to streamline everything, maybe make it a little more visually appealing.

Anyway, am in a big hurry (as always), so I just thought I'd drop a quick note. Will endeavor to be witty and amusing in the next day or two.

Jester

See, this is why I don't have a girlfriend - things get hectic, and I end up neglecting them for a couple of months.

Okay, a girlfriend might be more enticing than a blog, and that's not really the reason I don't have a girlfriend, but we won't go there.

It's been a rather hectic couple of months, which is cool. I'm now pretty well settled into my place on Bourbon St., and am fixing it up bit by bit. I've redone the phone wiring, replaced the door handles, replaced the bathroom fixtures, and am working on hinges and some minor electrical wiring. I'm still designing bookshelves; those could be simple, but I'd rather make them different and cool.

My sister is graduating college this semester. I have no idea how she did it - four kids, a husband, a full-time job, and somehow she just kicked ass. I take full credit for being her inspiration, though in fact, I had nothing to do with it. But I'm still taking full credit. And we won't mention my brother, who has gone much farther academically than me.

My co-worker Amy Trail just released her first CD. She's about the age I was when I did my first one. My first one was... Mediocre, at best. Hers is quite good. I'm quite jealous. I'm going to have to kill her. 'Cause that's the best way to get ahead, you know. Eliminate the competition.

Dance lessons are still going well - will let you all know when I'm Mr. Suave.

One former love interest pissed me off so much, I swore I was going to ignore her calls and emails. Unfortunately, she hasn't called or emailed since then. That kinda takes the satisfaction out of giving her the silent treatment. There's got to be a Country Song in there somewhere.

Have added pics of friends to my Photos page. Sent out an email to all my friends that I didn't have pictures of, with a long statement of how I'd like to have pictures of them, unless they didn't want to be included, in which case they should tell me. Most sent back replies saying "I'm doing fine, how are you?" Alas, communication is no longer my strong point. Wait, do I HAVE a strong point? Crap. I need to check Ebay and see if I can get one of those.

Well, I'll try to post more often. Good thing I've never said THAT before.

Jester

Well, Mardi Gras came, and saw, and drank... It was a fairly mild Mardi Gras for New Orleans, which meant it would've been considered utter chaos anywhere else.

When it was all over, Amy, Kristen and I all went drinking at a little hipster bar. 'Twas cool, and I drank massive amounts of all kinds of different alcohol. Then we went to Amy's house, where I proceeded to offer those same amounts of alcohol to the Porcelain God. After which, I slept on her (Amy, not the Porcelain God) spare bed for about six hours, got up, drove home, drank about two quarts of grapefruit juice, and slept another six hours. Then I went to work.

Ah, the glamorous life of a musician.

I ended up working ten days straight, which was pretty cool. I have tonight off, though, and that really sucks. I was supposed to have a date tonight, but it fell through (as always) which left me with no date, and nothing to do on Valentine's day. That makes 27 in a row with no Valentine. That's gotta be some kind of a record.

If I were to choose an archnemesis, it would be Leonardo Leonardo, not Valentine's Day. Of course, if you don't know who Leonardo Leonardo is, then you need to watch "Clerks; the Animated Series." If you don't know what Valentine's Day is, you're worse off than me.

On the plus side, I'm moving into my new apartment. It totally rocks. Life is good. After today.

Talk to you all soon,

Jester

P.S. Well played, Clerks. Well played...

Well, I made it through Lundi Gras - Mardi Gras is tomorrow (well, later today, to be precise).

I worked with Amy, who was a blast. It was cool - not only did we have a great time working together, but we went down to Frenchmen street afterwards, and had a great time.

In other thoughts... I've heard that hate is not the opposite of love, but rather apathy. I've realized how true that is. When I write to somebody I care about, and they get mad at me, it hurts much less than when I just get nothing but silence. That's the worst; feeling like they just don't care one way or the other what you think or feel.

Well, I'm about a month away from doing my first dance showcase with my teacher. Oh boy. White man dancing. Never a pretty thought.

I've gained twelved pounds since I started working out again. Another eighteen to go to reach my goal.

By the end of this week, I should start moving into my new place on Bourbon. Should be fun.

Well, I'm highly intoxicated right now, so I'll let you all go.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Jester

I wish I could budget like the Fed.

The new federal budget is being criticized as too "harsh" in its "cuts," and sometimes praised as "lean," and "fiscally responsible."

Point one - expenses will be (assuming it's passed as written, which is doubtful) approximately 124% of income. I'd love to spend that much over what I make, and be called fiscally responsible.

Point two - that doesn't count all the interest we're already paying on our current debt. Wouldn't it be nice if you had a huge debt, but you didn't have to figure it into your budget?

Point three - most of the "cuts" are actually increases. They're just smaller increases than previously expected. I'd love to make cuts like that.

Aarrgghh...

I was also reading a lot of viewpoints from the Arab world about the upcoming Palestinian/Israeli negotiations. They're thoroughly convinced we're the pawns of a vast Jewish conspiracy.

That might be nice, but no, I'm pretty sure we're our own independent idiots, answering to nobody but ourselves. It would be nice to be able to blame somebody else for our policy mistakes, though, wouldn't it?

Don't you love politics?

Jester

Today I was shopping in a grocery store. You know how they have little samples of products that they're trying to get you to buy? For some reason, in Texas, they always had little pieces of sausage. I never figured that out, but I digress.

The first one was a "crawfish pocket." My thought was "you know you're in Louisiana when..." But then - oh, and this is beautiful - they were giving out samples of Bacardi products, and there was a long line of college guys "trying them out." Only in New Orleans, I swear.

The stores are all confused around here - normally around this time, they'd be full of Super Bowl advertising, but for the first time ever, Super Bowl falls on Mardi Gras weekend. I saw one display where they had painted beads and Mardi Gras masks on opposing football players.

Of course, everybody here speaks a lingo that I don't quite follow, but I've gotten better at picking it up by context. "Well, I love the Endymion, but then, my favorite time is Lundi Gras, because that's even better than the day after, and besides, you've already seen most of the Krewes by then."

To which I say "Well, yeah!"

I've been flashed many times, but I haven't yet gotten any on camera. It's such a tough life I lead.

Well, I'll talk to you all soon.

Jester

Well, since my last post, I've seen two movies, and read two books.

The first movie was Jerry Bruckheimer's "King Arthur." What a waste of a movie. Predictable, boring, by the numbers. Just a retread of things we've all seen way, way, way too many times. The worst part is that it claims to be based on a true story, when it's at best based on an unproven theory concerning the origin of the King Arthur legend. If you're that bored, email me, and I'll give you a list of better movies to watch. Don't waste two hours of your life on this one.

The second movie was "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow." I can't recommend this one enough. It was incredible in many ways. It felt like a cross between reading a 1940's comic book and a 1930's film noir, with a little bit of the "Tom Swift, Jr." novels of the 1950s thrown in. Stylish, elegant, and innovative, while nostalgic, at the same time. Oh, and it had Angelina Jolie in it. Does the earth contain a sexier woman? I think not. But anyway, I loved the movie. I watched it four times - the first time normal, then with the audio commentaries (there were two), and then normal again. It renewed my faith in cinema... I'd go on and on, but I'd doubtlessly bore you - just buy the movie, and write me, and we can talk about it then.

I also read "Coyote Blue" and "Lamb" by Christopher Moore. No man takes a more skewed look at life, and yet, his observations on human character are dead on. The beauty of his humor is that he's simply pointing out just how bizarre humanity really is.

Oh, and I also walked up and down Bourbon Street a lot, watching the girls flash people for beads. Mardi Gras - what a wonderful time.

Talk to you all soon,
Jester

I think "Highlander" has ruined most sword-fighting movies for me. Now, every time I see somebody's head get chopped off, I expect to see a quickening.

You know, I was just reading a Christopher Moore book (always an enjoyable pastime), when I came across a a few phrases describing a girl named Calliope -

"...Calliope was able to define everything in her world, accept the highs and lows of life with resolve, and never be burdened by the need to understand. Why understand when you can believe? For Calliope, every event was mystical and every moment magical..."

And it hit me - that's what bothers me about the way most people use religion. It's an excuse to not think.

I sent out an email at New Year's concerning all the changes that I'd faced over 2004. And I got a reply back from one girl, worried about the state of my soul because I hadn't given God credit. Well, if you believe God is the divine author of all events, then I don't need to mention Him, do I? And if you don't, then nothing I say is going to change your mind. But most of all, I can't imagine the omnipotent, omniscient creator of the entire universe sitting at His throne, worrying about the content of one of my emails.

Everybody around New Orleans seems to be totally into Astrology. And no matter what you do, they blame it on your sign. If I'm either happy or sad, it's because I'm a Gemini. People ask me for advice on what Geminis think, as if one in twelve people will react to all events the same, because of the tilt of the earth on the day I was born. (In fact, due to changes in the calendar, all astrological signs are about a month off... But that's another story). I've heard one person talking about manifesting a parking space for themself, by using good karma, or something like that.

I'm on a quest to understand everything. As a result, I tend to believe nothing - unless it can be proven, or the evidence very convincing and thorough. I use religion as a basis for my understanding of things spiritual, and am more philosophical about it than anything else. I can quote Scripture with the best of them, and consider myself a Christian, but I find that I have very little in common with most people who call themselves Christian.

And I find it sad that people have so little faith in their professed beliefs that they can't handle either being questioned, or entertaining the possibility that they might be wrong. The "Religious Right" is STILL fighting a battle to prove evolution wrong, when it's a moot point for virtually any scientist, or even open-minded rationalist - and has been, for decades!

I find it sad when people must place every event into a category of "Good vs. Evil." I'm sorry, but if I'm a good person, it may change a lot of things, but it won't prevent a flat tire. And if I get one, it's not Satan testing me. I remember being on a Youth Trip with a charismatic church about ten years ago. One of the cars broke down, so the elders of the church tried to cast the demon out of the carburetor. Ten guesses on whether it worked? And when it didn't, it was obviously because of the lack of faith amongst the youth.

Religion can be a great tool for understanding things spiritual. But when applied to things physical, it quickly becomes little more than a joke. But people are so determined to not have to think, to not use their intellect, to not strive for understanding of the physical world... And religion quickly goes from being a source of freedom and truth, to a set of shackles, preventing them from truly understanding the world we live in. And I find that sad. Very, very sad.

Okay, getting off my soapbox, now. Talk to you all later,

Jester

Well, it's been pretty busy the last couple of weeks for me. How about you?

My brother had his second kid. Despite my repeated assertions that the best name would be "Jess Tandy Mills Junior the Fifth," he went with "Matthew Jess Mills." Still, a pretty good name. Now, for his firstborn, I was told that my job was to
a) be the Godfather (I wore a double-breasted suit to the christening)
and
b) learn the moonwalk
I haven't found out my new assignments yet, but I'm waiting.

I'm about to move into the French Quarter - should be quite exciting. I'm a little worried about how noisy it'll be in the daytime, but other than that, I'm really pumped. No more driving in heavy traffic, no more looking for parking... I can practice during my breaks... Plus, I'll be living next door to George Rossi, an incredible pianist, so I'm going to be hitting him up for free lessons all the time.

I've been watching "Lord of the Rings" - the extended DVD editions, plus appendices. As you know, it was filmed in New Zealand. Where exactly is Old Zealand? Do any of you know?

Dance Lessons are going extremely well. My teacher is talking about taking me to competitions, which I'm a little nervous about. But still, I'm having a blast. Of course, I work every night I could possibly go dancing, but that's beside the point. Should there ever come a day when I need to get on the dance floor, I'm coming closer and closer to a point where I won't look like an idiot.

I'm starting to lose touch with a few of my Texas friends, which sucks. I either need to take a vacation, or fly them out here more often. What, me take a vacation? Shah! As if! Southwest Airlines, here we come!

Anyway, keep writing at me, and I'll keep trying to stay on top of all the emails.

Jester

Okay, I just don't understand women sometimes.

Not that this is really breaking news, but...

I've never really cared for the song "Your Body is a Wonderland." I thought it was stupid, cheesy, poorly written, and boring as hell. And that's saying a lot, in the world of pop music.

However, girl after girl after girl has told me it's just the most sexy, romantic song ever. And I invariably ask "Why? It's just about a guy getting a piece!" The uniform response has been that he just says it so perfectly, so sexy, that you can bet he'd get it.

Well, always wanting to increase my "getting some" skills, I looked at the song. Could't be the chords - it was a typical country music progression, I, V, IV, V. It couldn't be the melody, 'cause it's only four or five notes in typical step-wise fashion. No catchy rhythms.

Must be the lyrics. Let's see...

Is it the line about "One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tongue."? I don't know about you, but nothing says "sexy" like bubblegum. Maybe it's "swimming a deep sea of blankets." There're few descriptions in life more poetic than that, right? Hmm... Maybe it's just the whole "Your body is a wonderland, your body is a wonder, I'll use my hands" line. Because you know, it's always good to mention using your hands.

Okay, I give up. I find nothing outstandingly sexy or unusually romantic about this song. I've learned it, and I'll undoubtedly sing it five times a week for the rest of my piano bar career, but I just don't get this one. Out of all the romantic songs, all the sexy songs, this one I would put at the bottom of my list. And all the girls reading this will be saying "he just doesn't get it." And they'll be right. But I'd love for you to explain it (without just telling me "it's the way he says it.")

Aaarrgghh....

Talk to you all later,

Jester

Happy New Year!

It was a wild night in New Orleans. I'm going to post some pics soon showing just how crowded it was - St. Peter's was standing room only - in the STREET!

I've sent out my annual "New Year's Rant." If you've ever emailed me, you probaby got a copy of it. If not, let me know, and I'll send you one.

Talk to you all soon!

Jester

Wonder of wonders; we had a white Christmas here in New Orleans. From what I hear, that's the first time in 40 or 50 years...

I got totally schnockered on Christmas Eve, then slept most of Christmas Day. 'Twas a good time.

Tonight I was watching "Stargate: SG-1." I realized what made it such a brilliant pilot. It had sarcasm, yes. It had decent special effects. It had a plot, and a nice Sci-Fi element. But it came through in the most important category of all; bare breasts.

So many shows these days are lacking in the ever-so-necessary female nipple viewing minimum requirement. Even R-rated movies these days often lack female nudity. They're more likely to show men's asses than women's. And I know I'm biased, but I think naked women are much more esthetically pleasing than men.

I think there should be a standard in every movie and TV show; at least four scenes of bare breasts, two of bare asses (female), and at least one of full frontal nude shot (female, of course, and preferable shaved).

I mean, there's no show that wouldn't be better off this way; imagine "Friends" if you'd gotten to see Phoebe in the bathtub, or "Alias" if Jennifer Garner were running from a scene all naked and jiggling, or "Angel" with Cordelia showing off those magnificent ta-tas! Name the show, and I will tell you how it would be better off with more female nudity.

Except "Golden Girls."

Also, Bin Laden wouldn't be able to air any of his messages, if he knew they'd keep throwing in nude shots of women. It goes against his screwed-up religious principles (killing and wounding thousands of innocents; God loves you. Eating bacon and seeing women naked? You're going to hell). So, as long as there's a lack of TV and Movie nudity, the terrorists have won.

Anyway, that's my contribution to the betterment of society, and world peace. Talk to you later!

Jester

I just watched the making of "Pirates of the Caribbean." I was struck by several things...

1) That a movie that cool came from a theme park ride that lame is quite incredible.

2) Johnny Depp is bad-ass. Not many men can pull off looking cool while wearing eyeliner.

3) I want to be Orlando Bloom. Nothing more to add to that.

4) Whoever came up with the phrase "Fire at Will!" must've hated Will. Just once on "Star Trek: the Next Generation" I wanted somebody to shoot Will Riker when Picard said that. Yeah, I'm weird.

5) Whoever wants to be a pirate obviously doesn't place dental hygiene in high priority.

6) I want to be Orlando Bloom. Okay, I already mentioned it. But it's still true.

7) Jerry Bruckheimer should've been put in charge of "Phantom of the Opera." Yes, technically speaking, the Phantom never makes anything explode, and there couldn't be too many cool car or boat chases... But it still would've been way cool.

Merry Christmas!

Damn, I hate the holidays.

I don't know if I'd mentioned that before. Just thought I'd let you know.

I've been pretty much out of food for a week, but I've been eating the dregs of my pantry to avoid going to the store. Finally, I had nothing left, so I went tonight. I thought if I went at 2:00 in the morning, I'd be safe from the crowds.

Nope. After fighting the crowds (and having the store be almost out of everything), I ended up waiting 45 minutes in the checkout line.

One thing I've noticed; I think I'm the only person in Louisiana who puts the shopping cart in the receptacle for it in the parking lot. There will be (literally) hundreds of carts scattered throughout the parking lot, and not one of them will be in the receptacle. It's very odd.

Also, I'm not sure if people are more charitable, or just more needy, but I had nine phone calls from charities yesterday morning. I was keeping the ringer on because I was expecting a phone call from a friend that I really wanted to talk to, but finally I just had to turn the ringer off.

But a few more days, and the shitty christmas music season will be over! I won't have anybody asking me to play "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" for eleven months! You know, that song was funny the first few hundred times I heard it. Then again, I also used to like "Piano Man," "Sweet Home Alabama," "Walking in Memphis," "Tiny Dancer" and "Brown-Eyed Girl." But after playing them each four or five times a night for two years, I'm ready to not ever hear them again.

It's gotten cold. I think the proper meteorological term is "bitch-cold." It's 35 right now, and heading down towards the 20s. Of course, the person I talk to the most is way up in the Northern part of the states, so I won't get any sympathy from her.

Almost a year ago, I was talking a lot to Anna, and she was snowed into her house a lot. That's just a bizarre concept to me. Of course, I don't really have any experience with snow, and that's not likely to change.

"Phantom of the Opera" is out now. I'll probably go see it Christmas Eve, if any Theatres are open during the day. After listening to the CDs extensively, I've decided that Schumacher is a total dumbass. I mean, I knew that before, but it's been thoroughly reinforced. He took the elements that made that my favorite musical of all time, and just tossed them out the window. I guess it's hard to see what you're doing when your head is that far up your ass, though.

But soon It'll be New Year's Eve. Last New Year's Eve, I was working at "Howl at the Moon" in San Antonio, and I thought life couldn't get any better. Man, was I wrong! 2004 has been by far the best year of my life, and I have hopes that 2005 will top it.

I'll be sending out my twice yearly State of the Union (or Jess's Life) email in a week or so. If you've ever emailed me, you'll probably get a copy of it (unless I really don't like you...). Look forward with glee, or foreboding, whichever you find more appropriate.

Talk to you all soon!

Jester

It's something that just needs to be said...

Mothers; when you're naming your son, think about whether you want grandkids someday. If you do, there are certain things you should NOT name your son. It will ruin any chance he has of procreating if you name him something like:

Alfred
Buford
Darrell
Elwood
Gunther
Leonard
Marvin
Randall

I mean, to get anywhere, he'll have to be good-looking, charming, and already have given the girl multiple orgasms before he tells her his name. No girl wants to scream "Marvin" in the throes of passion.

Of course, no mother wants to think about her son having sex. But hopefully, he's going to. And you should have some consideration here.

I've left a whole lot of bad names off that list. I'm sure some of you all will email me with several I didn't mention, and I'll probably devote a later blog to them. But that's a good start, and if I've helped the world in any way, I'll be glad.

Jester

O, happy day! O, Frabjuos, wondrous fervolity!

As many of you know, I have had a thoroughly unhealthy obsession with Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the Opera" since I was a teenager. Within weeks of hearing it for the first time, I had bought and memorized the original score. I sang every male role in it at my house and at the movie theater I managed. My best friend from those days, Jonathan Fernandez, shared my love of the musical, and we would sing it over and over again, sometimes recording ourselves, just to hear how bad we were. He couldn't hit the low notes back then, and I couldn't hit the high ones. I've listened to it beginning to end several thousand times, I imagine.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago, when the effort to make the movie took off again. First was the dread because it looked like Antonio Banderas would get the role of the Phantom. Although he turned in a masterful performance as Che in the movie version of "Evita," his voice could hardly be more wrong for the role of the Phantom.

Then I heard Joel Schumacher would direct. Now I'll admit, I loved "Lost Boys." But I've hated pretty much everything he's directed since then, and several of my top five worst movies of all time were directed by him (#2 being "Batman Forever"). So I was thinking that my favorite musical of all time was going to become total shit.

The momentary sigh of relief from hearing that Antonio was not getting the role was overshadowed by hearing that it would go to Gerard Butler, who had never sung before. Why? Because he was, and I quote Schumacher here, "Young and sexy, which is what the role needed." Which just goes to show how little he understands the story. The curse of the Phantom in this story is that he's old and ugly.

The pictures I saw of the production looked like I had always imagined it, though. So I figured that visually, it would be a masterpiece. Just not musically.

But I just got in the soundtrack to the movie, and you know what? It's not bad. I mean, Butler is no Michael Crawford, but he gives a very passionate performance, if not as trained and smooth as the Phantom is supposed to be. I have not had time to thoroughly examine every song, but so far, I'm pleasantly suprised.

I still think if they were going for someone young and incredibly sexy, they should have picked me. I can sing the hell out of that role, now. But maybe they just figured I was above such things.

Anyway, now I can't wait to see the movie. I am once again excited about it.

How do you feel? Or do you even care about it? Let me know!

pianoman@jessmills.com


Talk to you later,
Jester

In case any of you ought there are unaware, the world has changed, and there are great times ahead. No longer will we have to suffer the way we did, and the easy life has gotten easier.

That's right, you know what I'm referring to. Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper is now available in cans.

For years and years, if you had a craving for this divine concoction, the only possible improvement upon that sweet nectar of the gods we call Dr. Pepper, the only way to satisfy that craving was to go to your local Sonic and order it. But of course, then you had to brave the hordes of high school kids who thought the ultimate of cool was to hang out for awhile at the Sonic Drive-In, before going to "cruise the loop" (drive in circles around town for a few hours, in other words). And nothing can spoil an appetite like being around high school kids.

But all that is behind us, for we can go to the store and buy 12 packs, or even 20 packs! Or, if you're counting calories (as opposed to counting crows, which I'm all in favor of), you can get Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, which is probably the only soda that needs five words for its name. They had to work to cram all that in on the can.

Let us rejoice!

Jester

Call me a grinch, but I really don't like the holidays.

For one, the music is terrible. At most, there's about 50 Christmas songs that they play over and over and over and over and over again. And most of them are badly written, and badly performed. And no matter where you go, they're playing there. I thought I could at least escape it at work, but my coworkers all seem to love Christmas songs, and keep asking the audience to request their favorites. And vomiting onstage is frowned upon, for some reason.

Second of all, I don't like being in crowds. Well, that means I can't go anywhere from Thanksgiving to New Year's. Everybody's shopping, and eating out, and in a really big hurry, and usually in a surly mood. Rudeness abounds while they tell you about holiday cheer.

Third, it's just so commercial. What do I buy this person? How much into debt can I go to pay for all the gifts? Have I included a card for every single person I've ever met? My dad once told me that your family is the people you're related to by love, not blood. But that certainly doesn't seem to be the case during the holiday. You're expected to treat total strangers like they're you're best friends, simply because you share some genetic material.

For that matter, the holidays are way too secular. And those that participate in the religious aspect often do so because they ignore their "beliefs" the rest of the year. As a former church musician, I always knew we'd have a packed house at Christmas and Easter. The rest of the time, the front rows were always empty.

But Santa Claus, and Rudolf, and Jingle Bells, and all that bull - that's what's more prevalent. And I'll tell you why; it's easier to sell stuff with them. When people feel guilty about God and Jesus, they give money to the church to soothe their conscience. When they feel guilty about other people, they buy them gifts. Well, your average business owner is more concerned with turning a profit than seeing how the Sunday Contributions are going.

But the worst part? You're expected to have a lover during the holidays. If you're single, people spend so much time telling you how bad they feel for you that even if you felt great before, you sure won't afterwards! Every activity is geared towards couples and families. Every movie and song is about couples and families. There's no time that you'll feel more alone than during the holidays.

No wonder depression and alcohol abuse are so rampant at this time of year!

When I was a kid, there was one good thing about the holidays. My grandmother would have a feast (usually Mexican food), and my extended family would get together. And though there were some people I didn't really know in that mix, it was usually a fun time, with lots of food, and laughter... I'd often end up playing her Steinway, and we'd just have a good time. She'd buy a lot of crap gifts, and we'd end up with bags of junk to take home... But it wasn't about the gifts.

She passed away a few years ago. Various members of the family have tried to revive the tradition, but it just hasn't worked. And that's okay - times change. But I hate the artificial nature of how the holidays are celebrated.

So yeah, I'm a grinch. But you know what? I'm okay with that. Even if I didn't like the movie with Jim Carrey.

Talk to ya later!

Jester

(to the tune of "Sounds of Silence")

Hello, weblog my old friend
I've come to write in you again
Though I'll admit that I've neglected you
Please don't think that I've rejected you
I've simply had other things to do
I hope you knew
That I still love my weblog...

Anyway, it's been a fun and interesting time the last few weeks. I've had a succession of friends come and visit.

First there was Janelle, who I don't think was overly impressed with New Orleans, but we had a good time anyway. We played pool, and she let me win. I can't argue with that. She liked all the gay guys in interesting outfits for Halloween. I liked all the girls wearing virtually nothing as their costumes. But that's just me.

Then Caleb came over, and despite our grandiose plans, we basically just watched "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" all weekend long. That is such an incredibly good show. Is there anyone out there who reads this blog that is not totally hooked on that show? Please let me know; I'll loan you the Season One DVDs.

Then my friend Monica came over for a visit. We had a good time, though many of the things that had previously driven us apart were still in evidence. But we saw a lot of sights, went out a few times, and just generally had a relaxing time. It was only the second time we'd ever been anywhere without her son with us, and that made things a lot easier to plan. She didn't care too much for the Hurricanes, but she LOVED the Hand Grenades.

While she was here, she danced a couple of times at the Hustler Barely Legal club. I went to pick her up one night, and it was a real revelation to me. The previous times I'd been to strip clubs, they seemed to be a strange combination of frustration and enticement. This time, I was just thoroughly bored. The girls I date now are way hotter than any girls that strip, and a lot more classy. And for that matter, the thought of having to pay a girl to act interested in me just seems pathetic. I've definitely moved far beyond my former days of dating strippers. Which is a good thing; they're expensive girls to date.

In other news, a few months ago I mentioned how most of my female friends were hooking back up with their loser boyfriends/fiancees/husbands, and swearing that they were completely changed. Well, with one exception they've all now broken up with those guys, realizing that the changes were cosmetic, at best. As I've said before, people rarely, rarely change. I have to see it, and see it last, before I believe it for a second.

The one exception is Anna, who is still with her husband, and apparently happy. She doesn't claim so much that he's changed, though, she's just changed what she's looking for, I think. I'm not completely sure, since we're apparently not on speaking terms anymore. Which is mostly my fault. I was not always the most tactful of people in talking to her. Honesty is always a bad habit of mine. I do miss her, though; she was very insightful in analyzing my psyche. Plus, she has one helluva singing voice.

Speaking of which, my singing is getting much, much better. My friends have all noticed. I guess doing something for a living five or six nights a week will do that to you. I've got a long way to go, but I'm moving closer to being ready to really front my own band.

I've made a new friend on the internet, something I don't do too often. Her name is Christine, and she's a fascinating individual who lives in New York, and used to be a model in Hawaii... She's a mother of two, and I don't get to talk to her anywhere near as much as I'd like, but she's way cool.

I'm also starting to get to know my co-worker Amy Trail better. She's got a great sense of humor, and manages to slip the naughtiest little comments onstage while looking completely innocent. Plus, she has probably the best voice at Pat O' Brien's. And I've also been hanging out with George Rossi and Kristen Cady, two of the other entertainers there. Musicians; weird, quirky habits, but a lot of fun.

Well, I'll try to keep things posted a lot more. Later!

Jester