I have a dream. A Grand Dream. One that may change the world. Someday, I want people to get my name right. Well, if it doesn't change the world, it'll still make me happier.

Now, I'll admit - sometimes I'm a little egotistical about my intelligence (okay, all the time). And sometimes I think things are easier than they are. But my name... Why is it hard? One syllable. Prounounced phonetically. Jess.

Today I went to get a gym membership. With hard work and regular exercise, I think maybe I can bulk up to 145 lbs. Maybe I'm being overly optimistic.

So the lady at the front desk asks me my name. I say "Jess Mills."

"Jeff?" She asks.
"Jess." I reply
"Jesse?"
"Jess. J - E - S - S."
"So it's Jeff."
"No "f"s - only two "s"s."

She writes something down. Mentions how she recognizes me from my CD. Talks about family members that she knows... We talk a little more while she fills out forms. She hands me my membership card, says "See you soon."

I look at the card. It confirms "Jeff Mills" as a new member of the gym.

Nor is this an isolated event. Most of my life people have gotten my name wrong. People at my church still call me "Jesse." And I've been the church pianist there since I was 16, with my name in the bulletin every week. One of the waitresses at HATM was introducing me, and called me "Jeff," despite the fact that my name is called out over the microphone at least three times a night.

Well, we all have our difficulties to overcome in life. And these days, more people are calling me "Legolas" or "Elf-Guy" than by my name, anyway. So I'll carry on. But if you ever want to get on my good side, don't call me "Jesse" or "Jeff."

Enough whining. I need to go back to practicing.

Remember - if you develop a burning rash, a second date is probably not a good idea.

Jess

P.S. Have you ever noticed that "Phonics" isn't spelled like it sounds?