Thursday, March 04, 2004

Is it just me, or is spam getting worse?

No, I’m not talking about getting more and more of it: in fact, I get so much, I don’t even try counting. I’m talking about the quality of spam.

It used to be that if I didn’t stop to consider that I didn’t know the sender, I wouldn’t be able to tell at a glance that it was spam.

Nowadays, there are usually all sorts of random letters and misspellings in the subject line. And they refer to me by my email address as if it was my name.

Now, just for the record, I know that there’s no magic pill to make my penis grow to 10 inches long, and even if there was, I’m not sure I’d want it. I know that there’s no beta test of a Microsoft email tracker that will give me 50 cents for every person I forward an email to. I know that Honda is not giving out free cars. I know that there’s no sick kid who’s waiting on us to forward a chain letter so his warped doctors will finally give him his treatment. I know there’s no dead guy from Zimbabwestan whose widow will give me half his estate, if only I give her my bank account info and credit card numbers so she can bring the money into the States.

Furthermore, all the porn ads have begun to look the same (I think I may have mentioned this before): “see barely legal teens doing unbelievable things with large objects in strange holes!”

And I want to see this because? I mean, I’m sure it’s funny, but not funny enough to pay $19.95 a month.

This is a rallying cry to all you spammers out there: do better! Be more convincing! Offer something new, and spell it right while you’re at it!

Okay, I think I really ought to get some sleep now.


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