It's no secret that I had several speech impediments when I was growing up. I couldn't say my "R"s, which I figured out when I was about 9 or so... I had a real bad problem with stammering, and still have to work on it when I get excited or flustered. One that confuses me, though, is the letter "S." I had a real bad lisp when I was a kid, tried to fix it myself when I was about 9, failed, took speech therapy when I was 11, and hadn't thought about it since.

Until the last year, when people have started telling me I have a lisp. The first guy to say it was a total jerk, and drunk, so I didn't pay much attention to him. Then a real good friend of mine was laughing over guys thinking I was gay, and told me "Well, you're well dressed, fit, and have a lisp - of course they'll think it!" Which made me wonder, so I started taping myself, and couldn't find any trace of a lisp.

But every couple of months, somebody else will mention it. Last night at work, a hot girl was totally into me, and was telling me on and on how cute I was, and how she liked my smile, and my dimples, and my playing, and my singing, and how she thought my lisp was just so cute. I wasn't so excited to hear about how cute my lisp was.

Now, to the best of my knowledge, a lisp is the inability to say the letter "S" - which I am fairly certain I know how to do. And as I mentioned earlier, I have recorded myself talking a lot since the first time I was accused of having one. And though I've heard a lot of things about my speaking voice that I don't like, I hear absolutely no trace of a lisp. Whiny, yes. Higher pitched than I think it should be? Yes. Nasal at times, stuffy sounding at others? Yes. Shatner-like in my strange pauses and breaths? Yes. Lisp? Can't hear it.

On the other hand, it wouldn't keep happening if there was no trace of it - which leaves me confused. So, if I'm ever talking to you, and you hear me lisp, tell me right away.

In other thoughts about myself, I have figured out the definite cause of my longest recurring dream; that of losing my teeth. It's a dream I've had for over ten years now, and for the last couple, I've suspected the cause. Contrary to the pop psychology books, it's not about vanity, security, or ego (at least with me). It's whether or not I wear my retainer while I sleep. If I wear it, I have the dream. If not, then I don't.

On the other hand, for the last two weeks, every dream I've had has taken place (no matter the subject material) in a giant, gothic, rather evil looking cathedral. But that's not the weird thing - the true oddity of it is that the cathedral is built in/on the world's largest oak tree, like a tree house. But evil. And enormous. And stone.

I'd love to find out what the reason for that dream is.

In other news, I got my new computer, and now I'm just trying to figure out how the hell to use Cubase. It always seems so simple once I've gotten going, but at first, I spend so much time going "How the %$#@ do I start recording? Where's the display? What's step one?"

And yes, it's a PC, not a Mac. There are many reasons for that. I will still get a Mac someday. But that day is not today.

I'm still getting little stuff done in my apartment. I have more pictures up on the wall than I ever got around to doing in New Orleans. Which means I've done almost half of them...

I've given up on the thought of building bookshelves. There's no real place to do any major cutting, sanding, varnishing, etc. around here. I'm probably just going to buy cheap Wal-Mart shelves. Look as nice? No. Hold the books up that I've been wanting to unpack for a couple of years? Yes.

2 of the 5 dueling piano bars in Las Vegas just shut down. So it's gone from me working all the time to almost no work from now until Christmas. That's good in some ways; I really need the time to practice more, and I could use some song-writing time, as well. On the other hand, it means I'm pretty much broke for awhile. Good thing I paid a lot of bills whilst I was working a lot! And it looks like there'll be more work for me in the spring.

Well, I'm going to go back to trying to figure out Cubase. I know once I've got it going, I'll think of myself as an idiot for having trouble. But right now, I'm stumped.

Talk to you all soon,
Jess