Friday, May 02, 2008

Britney Spears' Underwear (or lack thereof).

Now, it's no secret that I'm not and never have been a Britney Spears fan. I never found her particularly attractive, never liked her singing, dancing, song selection, onstage persona, offstage persona, or pretty much anything else. I thought (and still think) she was an entirely Industry Created star.

Having said that...

I watch a lot of CNN and other news channels, largely because I'm highly enjoying this farcical show that the media is pretending is a presidential election. And it seems that every few days, they have to give a report on Britney Spears' condition. Apparently, she's recovering. Great.

But here's what gets me; in EVERY SINGLE REPORT, they always bring up ONE subject - whether or not she's wearing underwear. Apparently, having her genitalia photographed because she went commando is the most horrifying thing any commenter can imagine.

Don't get me wrong - if she were still trying to promote a pure, wholesome image, it'd make it laughable. But to the best of my knowledge, she isn't trying for that anymore.

But of all the things she did, that's the one every newsperson refers to as either a sign she was troubled, or in the fervent hopes that she's learned her lesson and will always wear underwear.

Okay, during her fun and exciting trip into la-la-land, where would you rank the following events? (I've arranged them in no particular order)

1. a 55 hour marriage, entered into while completely high

2. Walking into a random hair salon and SHAVING HER FREAKING HEAD BALD in front of the horrified customers

3. Attacking paparrazzi with an umbrella (actually, I kinda like that one)

4. Beating the shit out of some stranger's car just to show off for the paparazzi

5. Having an affair with a member of the afore-mentioned paparrazzi, complaining about their presence in her life the whole time

6. Driving around with her kid in her arms instead of belted in

7. Trying publicly to get pregnant immediately after losing custody of her kids

8. Giving the most dispirited performance of her life during her "comeback" bid

9. Checking in and out of rehab for a few hours each time while in a custody battle

10. Going in public with no underwear

Personally - the underwear thing really doesn't seem to fit for me. It seems so minor and trivial a thing. Perhaps this is because I know a lot of girls who have done the same (though it was not while accompanying Paris Hilton, and there were no photographers). So why is this the one thing nobody can let go? I just don't get it.

Now, if Obama, McCain and Hillary all get photographed wearing short skirts with no underwear, I'll... Well, to be honest, my opinion of them can't get any lower, so it wouldn't change a damn thing for me.


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